"So this is the new year and I don't feel any different."

Christmas was crazy super busy. After we got home and got settled Bug and Bee naturally want to play so we spent a lot of time ripping, cutting and twisting, Watching them jump up and down. They wore their new nighties bed. The next morning we took down all of our Christmas stuff. We also did have a sorta decent white Christmas with lots more snow fall. And yes, we do take down our decor because just a  few days later, we celebrate Bee's birthday which is the third of January..

However on the 28th, I came down with pancreatits. While Red made Gyros that I really wanted (trying go back to Greek and Lebanese tradtions) Needless to say that I didn't get my Gyro on the 28th. I kissed everyone goodbye and went to the ER. Yes, the same hospital I don't like and would rather go to a vets office to be put down,but again it's a few miles from my house. Anyway... they took me in, took my vital signs and got me a room. I remembered telling them it was pancreatitis and told them I was a higher than a 10 the stupid. After that I don't remember anything for days. In fact, I wasn't even coherent on my daughters birthday. Today is January 19th, I only remember the last6 or 7 days. I'm going to need physical therapy to get everything going again. With Pancreatitis they have to wean you back on food. We haven't started that yet. My Pancreas enzymes that they like to have between 0-160 were 3.000, and my triglycerides were 8,700. They like that below 150. All I remember is the hallucinations and delusions from the medications. Red said he got a phone call at 4am with nurses telling thim I ripped out my picc line, all my IV's and was getting ready to leave. Somehow....I stayed. This has been the longest, hardest battle I've had so far. I missed new years and Bee's birthday. I've got tubers out my arms, noses, catheters, etc. I also have a beautiful "Fall Risk" braclet. The hardest part is that I am in the Critical care unit so the girls can't see me. But my mom came down and they both come once a day.I may get on a transplant list for a new pancreas.I guess we'll see what happens. Here are some pictures of my personal hell:

Christmas 2010

Merry Belated Christmas/Holidays and Happy Belated New Year. The first thing I would like to tell you before I become a ME-monster is that your families were in my mind. Holidays are cheerful, joyful and surrounded by the ones you love. It could be the lone person who takes this time every year to remember the cookies their loved one used to make them...or how many errands were ran to make this cookies. Christmas is for all families, big and small, whether you call it that or not.. Time to tell you about mine. Let's start with everything going well with Christmas show that MY Bug had on on 7th! My beautiful girl dressed in her best Christmas dress. It felt weird because the girls are in the same shows but difference schools and Papabug and Mamabug showed up . It's wonderful when we're able see them in or outside of home events. Where they have teachers and classmates they introduce you to. Ah the mysteries of being mom.

Unfortunately, on the 8th, I came down with pancreatitis again. I had a 4 day stay in the hospital. ANY day stay in the hospital feels like forever. I got out on the 11th. 10 days later was Bee's concert! She looked beautiful, did some of the sign language and.....and... SHE SANG! This school, it's teachers and everyone there has help us out tremendously. They even but the girls on their Angel Tree. If you're look for a Baptist in Western NC. I'll show you this one. Beautiful people. Now on to the rest of Christmas.... We drove to my mom, Tettabug, My uncle that I had not see since my dad passed had some, be brough a long to 2 cousins I met, and the two that I had not (twin boys that are 4). My brother also bought over his two. 8 kids in the house. And for some reason we had to have a feast....oh yeah....that's right we're Mediterainean. We had two mix and match desserts, labneh (Lebanese or Greek yogurt), ham, turkey, chicken, rice, grapeleaves, hummus, mac and cheese, corn bread mash potatoes, Kubeh,  Edible fruit center piece and  veggie tray various salads. There were way too many nationalities. Hard to choose and hard to eat with pancreatitis. It also insults the hosts if you don't eat. So I had corn bread and mashed potatoes. I tasted some things but that's about it.


After that we went back over the river, and through the woods to our house so we could go to sleep for Santa. We opened our presents and played with them about then we went to visit Mama and Papa. Apparently Santa arrived there too with presents! We opened  them and played a little. Papa and Mama created a wonderful feast for us. A more toned down! Just the way I like it. I felt like I was at a buffet while at my moms. Then of course we surried home have fun, hugs and kiss.