The Dysfunction of Motherhood

Bee is one month old today!


She can roll over
She's holding her head up really well
She wakes up only 1 time at night for 30 minutes
She was completely breastfed until last night
--- we had a few failed attempts at formula but I got her a new bottle and with some coaxing she finally took it.

I don't know why we gave her formula... I have a ton of breastmilk in the freezer. I guess it was quicker for my husband than thawing a bag. Bug was breast and formula fed at the same time. I think she's better off for it. She's had a small minor little cold and she's almost 2. No ear infections...not a single sickness. So we'll go the same route with Bee.


Speaking of Bug, her sister seems to be the apple of her eye. She thinks and talks about her constantly. It's cute, it's an unexpected surprise. I love it, she's already a little mommy! She's taken her big sister roll very well, she gives lots of kisses, hugs and even holds her so nicely. At one point, she did try to breastfeed her but not since I explained that only "mommy" can do that. Since then, she brings her dolls over to me and wants me to breastfeed them as well. It's interesting, but sweet nonetheless.

It's funny, I can't seem to sleep tonight. Both kids go down at 8, so Jena has been sleeping since 8pm, it's almost 1am and she's still sleeping. I remember feeling this way when Lanie started sleeping all night. It's pretty lonely when you're used to getting up. Maybe I'll be able to stop my brain from running laps around an imaginary track so I can fall asleep. I'll be 25 on Monday, and all I can think about is that this is the second time that I won't be having a conversation with my dad on my birthday. This is the second time that I can't show him my new baby. So lately I've been finding my thoughts with him....