Wednesday, February 10, 2010

My Dysfunctional Life

Ok, so here is a long whiny story about my life in general, and about my day today. I don't expect anyone to read it but I can't go to sleep right now so I need to stay awake. I will give more information on that later.  On with the story.  It may get to be blunt and TMI, but you know what?  People love TMI. I know it, you know it. The sooner people admit the more information they will receive right?

 My week has been awful. Apparently, I caught a stomach bug that landed me in the ER yesterday. I have some nice drugs but have yet to fill out the RX.  I have barely eaten anything for the last six days. I don't know how to throw up so you can imagine. When I went to the ER, I took Brian Regans advice and I said "8" for my pain. I had the kids with me I told them no drowsy meds, and they listened. I really do feel like I am imploding. A Cat Scan and some blood work later, I need to be seen by my primary care doctor then referred to a specialist. Fun. I've been going to work through it all. There is a 3 occurrence policy the first year. So, here is why I can't sleep: I am diabetic. I have an insulin pump. Apparently, I forgot it gives me continuous insulin. Earlier today right before it was drop my kids off at friends house time, I couldn't see. I had to ask my daughter to get my phone for me and I call my friend. My blood sugar dropped to 40. I was on the verge of a coma. I attempted to eat, but with the stomach issue, that didn't go over so well. I really thought I'd end up on an ambulance but I was surprised after a half hour and a ton of sugar--- it was at 70. I tried to eat tonight but it didn't work. My blood sugar is in the 60's. So, hopefully if it comes up, I can go to sleep. Otherwise, I may be going into a different kind of sleep--- The non-preferable one. (coma)

This is what is on my mind tonight:
Here is Redmosqui's take on our Past and Present: Click Here.

My take is a little different.  And you know, it never really started out that way. It start out where my only responsibility was car insurance. So I got a part time job working at Kohls. It just so happened my other mother called me. She's a family friend that's been in our lives for a really long time called me up and said "Hey, the company I work for has a job paying $10 per hour working as a vendor. It's a hard job,  but it's fun and you choose your own hours. It's at the home depot a mile from you and it would really help my friend out." So, BAM, interviewed, got a second job, and fell in love with the job and really loved my manager. 2 jobs. Then when I found out I was pregnant with the Bee, I left the job at Kohl's which had some pretty rude managers to do a manual labor job at Home Depot while pregnant, but the pick your own hours thing kind of appealed to me. It was better pay than Kohl's, too. But I got used to getting paid with 2 jobs. So around holiday time 2006, I got a second holiday job at Garden Ridge. The pay was peanuts but it was a fun place to work, I LOVED the people. And the 20% employee discount. Shortly before Christmas, I was too pregnant to keep up both. I also had a Hernia in the groin while pregnant with Bee, doing manual labor, working 2 jobs. Fun, fun times.  Early December, I stopped working at Garden Ridge. Late December, the 28th to be exact,  My Vendor job season ended and I started getting laid off unemployment until the season began again in March. Bee was born January 3rd. I got the laid off unemployment until March, and then resumed with the Vendor job, only it had changed. Instead of working at my mile-up-the-street store, they sold it to another greenhouse so I had to travel around the ENTIRE Charlotte, NC area. No fun. Not enough time to get it done after Redmosqui got home. My Mothers Day that job ended. I reapplyed for Garden Ridge, but only stayed there 2 months as getting paid peanuts didn't work for me at the time and I didn't need the employee discount anymore. I decided NOT to work at all.

Of course, that was short lived because opportunity knocked again. I. Love. Opportunity. I got an email from a call center, they'd work with my hours and I'd get insurance. My mom would come while I trained for 8 weeks to watch the kids then I could start my normal hours. Great! Full time job with Health Insurance. I was pumped. I was nervous about a sales job but then I turned out to be really good at it.  The downside was, in order to get 40 hours a week--- I had to work 6 days a week. 5-11. Then the company showed it's true colors,  I was promoted, demoted, promoted---- making a nice salary, finally had 2 days off.  Wasn't even in my wonderful supervisor position for a year when my department was outsourced to India. Then I was demoted again to half of what I was making. My hours changed so I was staying there later at night. But the plus side was the weekends off. But making less than half of what I made before defeated the purpose of working there. It was a terrible place to work. Things changed every minute and no where near for the better. People were fired or quit by the dozens monthly. What was the point of health insurance if I couldn't afford to pay my copays?  I knew I would miss my "work family but I applied for another sales job. I knew I would get it. I just had to arrange the right childcare that would work best for us in order to pursue my new career. Yes, folks. A career. Something I didn't intent to pursue until about 2013-2014. It feels good. I do well there and once again, I have a "work family" that I would sorely miss if I left.  And I will make great bonuses. So, what's the problem?  I'm physically and mentally unwell. (Que Rob Thomas--- I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell.) Here is 1 day in my life.

1:30am--- Walk in the door from work. (yes, the AM is correct, 1 AM)
2:00-- Get ready for bed.
3:00-- Hopefully asleep by then.
6:00-7:00-- At some point the kids wake up during this time.
7:00-7:30-- Spent trying to make the kids do something that will still let me get some more sleep.
7:30--- I give up, go downstairs and find some kind of breakfast that they won't choke themselves on and try to get dishes done.... Or lay down in the living room a little bit longer (my favorite option.)
8:00-- We head back upstairs to get  dressed and ready to go. 3 girls takes a while!
8:30-- Pack the girls' a snack for school.
8:45-- In the car on the way to school.
9:00-11:00 (on Tues/Thurs only) Bee has school. So I either get groceries or pick up things we need, make phone calls, etc.
11:00-- pick bee up and wait an hour with her until Bug gets out.
12:00 Bug is done. I bring them home and make them lunch.
1:30-- QUIET TIME (for the kids), my time to take a shower and get ready for work.
2:30-- Quiet time is over and I get them up to get them ready to go again.
3:00-- I drop them off at my friends house so I can head to work.
4:00--- I better be at work or I am late. I get off at 12:30am
--- And repeat.

I was thinking about it and I actually get in and out of the car around 11 times a day, assuming I don't run errands and come straight home after dropping them off at school.  Yup. BURNED. I love my work family, I love my home family. I love my job but wow am I tired. I am really feeling it.


Holly Schwendiman said...

Sending prayers for a brighter, warmer day hon.


Cmcelest said...

Wow that sounds exhausting! I wish we lived closer so we could help out. I'm glad you have friends and family who are willing to help. Once the girls are in school hopefully you can move your hours. I am really glad you like your job, I just wish you had some more time to sleep and take care of yourself! Let me know if there is anything I can do...even if it's just talking :) Miss you!!!

Daddy Forever said...

What a tough life. I hope you get better soon and one day you'll be able to sail off into the sunset. And the boat won't even leak.


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