Thursday, June 17, 2010

Happy Father's Day to All Dads

There are two men in my life. One is the first man that ever fell in love with me, my dad. He is no longer here. And the other is the man I married. My dad is no longer here but ever year I still have a message that I'd like to give him on Father's Day. And my husband, deserves more than the single cup coffee maker I got him to take to work. He deserves more than a little bloggie message. But he's getting one anyway! And he's getting it today since we'll be busy on Father's Day. Let's start with my husband, Red.

To Red,

Happy Father's Day. If I could use song lyrics to describe all of the good things about you and the ways you make me happy.. I think this post would go on forever.

"You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile"

Oops, sorry! Better stop that before I go too far. I know we are not living the "Dream Come True" life. That it's not always blue skys and butterflies, and I know we don't pretend as if they are. I just wanted you know that, you've given me more that I could have ever asked for. You've given me gifts that even money can't buy. I've pulled out the letters and documentary CD's that you've given to me over the course of our lives together. The stack is so big, like I've known you my entire life and I read... all the way to the last one that you just recently gave me and in all of those letters you've encouraged me. You called me the "glue" that holds us together. But I've found that glue needs a container. Whether is something keeping it fresh until used, or it's being contained by the object it's holding together. So while you're right, I may be that glue that's keeping us afloat during these trying, busy, frustrating yet joyful and full filling times.... You're the container that keeps this glue ready and you do your job very well. I still get butterflies when you come home from work, or when you call me randomly to check on me and the girls. It's hard to think back on my life before you. And when I do, I seem to infuse you in those old memories, like you were there somehow. And your girls.... wow. There are no words for what you do with them. I hear stories about how fathers aren't involved in their childrens lives with a "that's what wives are for" moto. And you're the exact opposite. You're the light of their life, and it's a big task to have girls. They're going to base future relationships on your relationship with them and if they find a man as good as you, they would be very lucky. Thank you for all you do. Speaking of the girls I asked them what they love about you and here is what they said:

Collectively put from Bug and Bee--- "Don't tell Daddy, it's a secret."
1." Daddy has a pretty smile."
2. Daddy is the best daddy there is because he lets us watch Penguins hockey. We can't watch it now-- they didn't score.
3. Daddy builds really great towers and plays with us outside
4. Daddy cuddles with me at night when I ask or when I am afraid of the Thunder. God's Bowling isn't scary but I don't like it.
5. He is my true love. (Bee chimes in... Mine too!)
Happy Father's Day With Love---- From QueenBug, Bug, Bee, and Penny

 My dad.

Father's Day does have me a little bummed this year. The girls and I were out picking up a few things for a baby shower that I was going to and get some Father's Day things. It brought back memories of when I had my own father to shop for. I picked up a card and then all of a sudden, I froze in place. That card.... it was perfection. If he were here today, that would be his card. So a whole list of things flashed through my head of things I never got to thank my dad for. Things I never realized I should have thanked him for. The "little" things that turned out to be not so little. Like:

--- Not charging me mileage when I put 36k on the car the first year.
--- Going to all my theatre performances, even the ones geared toward 3rd graders, even if it hurt to be in the wheelchair.
--- Telling me stories, even if they were the same ones over and over agan.
--- Teaching me what it really is to commit to something and see it through.
--- The excitement on your face when I told you I was getting married.
--- The excitement on your face when I told you I was pregnant.
--- The first thing you told me after I said "It's a girl," was "I love having a girl, you will too." Thank you.

If wishes were given freely.....
I wish I could tell you Happy Father's day.
I wish I could thank you for all the little things mentioned above.
I wish I could sit down in your wheelchair next to your bed and talk to you.
I wish I could barge into your room and wake you up when I couldn't sleep.
I wish I could hug you and tell you to let me help you so mom could rest.
I wish even wish I could cook for you and feed you even one last time,
something that seemed like a burden back then, would welcome right now.
I wish I could tell you that there really is so much beauty in the world.
I wish you could've experienced it longer.
I wish I could tell you how much your son in law complains about how stubborn I am....
Just as much as mom complained about your stubborness.
I wish you could see how much of that has trickled down into your granddaughters.
I wish you could see that I have such a great Father in law. He's not you, but he's the best anyone could ever have.
I wish you could see how lucky I am to have the things that I do have, and how the only thing missing in my life is you.
As you can see there's a lot of things I wish for as I remember you on Father's Day.
I wish I could be reading this to you, laughing and hearing your voice.
I wish I could see my girls running up to you to give you hugs and kisses.
I wish that I never knew what it felt like to have that gift taken away.
I wish I never knew that so many tears could be shed so easily, freely and on a whim.
Throughout all of these wishes there is only one that really matters.... I wish you peace.
"You can get just so much from a good thing. You can linger too long in your dreams. Say good bye to the oldies but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems. Now, I told you my reasons for the whole revival. Now, I am going out side to have an ice cold beer in the shade. I'm going to listen to my 45's. Ain't it wonderful to be alive when the rock n roll plays, yeah! I'm keeping the faith, yeah! Yeah, yeah yeah yeah keepin' the faith." --- Billy Joel. (Thanks again to my dad for making me listen to him!)

Happy Father's Day to all the Father's out there. Hope you get to kick back, relax, and crack open an ice cold beer outside in the shade!

1 comment:

Daddy Forever said...

Funny you write about your dad today because I was thinking about my mom. We were not close, but I still miss her and wish she was still here with us.

Your dad sounds like a great dad. I hope that's how my kids will think of me when they grow up. Happy Father's Day to your husband. Have a fun one!


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