I'm back! (Maybe)

I've really missed blogging! I always have so much to say but then when I come to write, it's gone. I actually had a great laugh at my own expense. I went back to read some of the things I posted while in the hospital and I hardly understand what I was trying to say. It makes no sense at all! So here I am, attempting a "come back." Hopefully mine won't end up being like Michael Jackson's! Hmmm....

I really haven't been up to much. I haven't worked in over a year now. Things are shaky at best. I don't anticipate any more attacks. From what I can see, it took about 2 years to get that bad so hopefully that doesn't happen again or at least give me a two year break. We'll see. I still have anywhere from 6 to 10 appointments a month. I hate being such a financial burden between appointments and medication. I am an expensive person to keep alive. We'll see, I don't want to write about that stuff anymore. I want to get back to what this blog was really about, my children!

Even though I just sort of sat outside their life the first part of the year, they've still managed to amaze me. Bug is 6, and Bee will be 5 in less than a month. They've grown up and learned so much. Since I am not working, it's given me more time with them. They're at the "arguing with each other stage of their life." I am not quite sure if it's a stage or if they will argue forever about everything. They argue about where to sit at the table, where to sit in the van, which cup they want to use, etc etc. But they're also best friends at the same time. I think frenemies is the correct term.

My Bug has always been a helper since her sister was born. At just 21 months old, she helped me change diapers, she sang songs to her sister, and always focuses on her. That hasn't changed. Although I wish she would focus more on herself than her sister. She's always concerned about what she's doing (which makes her tell on her a lot!) and always tries to help her as well. To this day, she's taught Bee her alphabet, her numbers, how to write, how to dress and even how to read some words. According to Bug, her sister does everything and she does no wrong. She loves going to school (but hates homework) playing Wii, iPod, playing on the computer, and all things Disney (like her mom). She says she wants to go to cooking school to become a chef when she grows up. She's stuck to this, aside from a few comments about working at the Disney store when she is old enough to get a job. She's about 46'' inches tall, 40lbs, and she's refused hair cuts as her current goal is to grow her hair as long as Rapunzel. If she has any thoughts of having a boy climb up her hair, I may seriously put her in a tower!

As for Bee.... I find her to be a frustrating creature. I don't think people are meant to deal with themselves on a daily basis, and that's what I do with her. She's me, except a little more stubborn, a lot more whiny, and very demanding. If she wants something, she doesn't let it go until she gets it. If she wants a snack 2 hours before dinner, and we say no.... We will hear about it until she eats dinner. And even then, she will eat very little and 5 minutes after dinner she will ask for a snack and it continues. She also fuels the fire for most arguments with her sister. They both tend to egg each other on, or say things to make the other one mad but Bee is the best at this. It's very frustrating as I am sure most parents with two children close in age can imagine. We find ourselves saying "Who did this?~!" And both of them blame the dog. We hear the "She's touching me! No, she touched me first, she took my toy, she ::insert other things here::" all the time. Bee is usually the first one we hear from. According to Bee, there is a reasonable excuse for everything and it is NEVER her fault, ever! She is definitely the crier. When asked why she is crying she comes up with things like "you broke my heart because I wanted a snack, you hurt my feelings because you said no," and we definitely hear "I am never speaking to you again" on a daily basis. See? Frustrating. She's about 38inches tall, still only 29 lbs, and she loves playing on the computer. When she's on the computer, all I hear is clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick.
When I check on her, she is actually doing something and not just random clicking! She gets on the internet, and will enter in her name when it tells her to and play various games. I do catch her trying to sign up for a gmail account or a youtube account regularly. She does like other things aside from the computer like her iPod, playing DS, My Little Pony, the computer and she definitely loves to eat. Good thing her sister wants to be a chef. She hasn't actually said anything she wants to do when she grows up. She's not as independent as her sister but she wants to be just like her. She wears her sisters clothes a lot, no matter how big they are. I said before that she will do things just to make her sister angry, but she will also do things that make her happy like give her sister money from her piggy bank so Bug can save enough money for cooking school, or pick a movie she knows her sister will want to watch. She can be very sweet, but only when she wants to be.


I love my girls. Motherhood is so much more than I expected and as frustrating as they both can be, I wouldn't change a thing about them (most of the time)!


That's it for today, hopefully, I will blog more now that I am feeling almost okay. It's been a rough year that's for sure! I miss everyone and hopefully I can find all of your blogs again. :)