Wednesday, November 01, 2006

***Warning... this post contains some not so clean words***

Ok, I've decided that I'm definitely not an experienced parent at all. Not in the least. Am I good parent? I think so....but at this point in time I'm at a loss for words. My 18 month old is curious about body parts. She points to her head, her shoulders, her knees, her toes... even the eyes, mouth and nose! (We're working on ears.) She also points to her bellybutton and with that curiousity brought two new pointing spots. Can you guess where those spots are. Yup... the breasts and for lack of a better term, I'll just use the PC term--- vagina. Of course, to her right now, they all "bellybuttons." But everyone knows that won't always be the case. So, my husband and I looked up the list of what these specific areas are called by the good, the bad... and the really bad. I'm uncomfortable calling it a "vagina" to her innocent ears. I'm uncomfortable with that term altogether. In fact, I'm uncomfortable with many of the terms that I will list. I avoid using that "part" in any sentences and I always have. It's not something that developed with age... it's something that just didn't develop at all. My daughter points to these things and while it's cute that it's "bellybutton" right now..... she's eventually going to have to learn that it isn't a bellybutton. And it's better if I tell her than she finds out elsewhere. So, here are the terms my husband and I listed.... at least one of us can get these terms out of our mouths. I managed to say 4 of the 13.

Here they are...(uh I feel so dirty):
hooha-- ok, I can say this one.
pussy-- yeah... no. it's just a discusting word.
cunt-- same as above.
crotch-- not so bad.
snatch-- how the heck did it get this name?
poontang-- same as above
twat-- seriously? people call it that?
cooter-- this I can manage.. sort of.
kitty-- what's up with the animal names?
muff--- Never heard it called that before.
beaver--- this was in Naked Gun?
down below-- just not suitable for a body part lesson.
girlie parts-- same as above.

I grew up saying "privates," that's what my mom called them.. that's what she told me to call them. And still, I feel... nasty just saying it. But ultimately, privates is what our daughters will call them because the above list just isn't cutting it.

Now... onto the "other"'s not as bad as the first but, it's still uncomfortable saying it to an 18 month old.

I don't think I need to explain each decision is to just be PC and call them breasts even those my husband wants "chest." My decisions tend to change... What did you say to your daughters...or what would you say? Am I being too... I don't know, immature? irrational? Nervous? Should go ahead and start planning the sex/period talk? It's amazing how much I feel like I don't know.


Holly said...

Oh Vicki, I thought I'd have so much time to "prepare" for girl talks. Suffice it to say my daughter has always been about 3-4 years ahead of her game socially. So for the past 2-3 years I've been dealing with stuff I thought would keep until she was closer to "the change"! You can see I'm a code talker at some level too. There's something very wrong about an abrasive woman and that's exactly what comes to mind when I think of women who freely use such ugly and detailed words.....I've always scratched my head at men's vocabulary and the words they create.

It is so important that our kids hear these truths and facts from us, but it is hard to find a balance and the right time for the right material. I'll give this some thought and post some of my experiences over the next couple weeks on my blog. It's a GREAT question and you're not alone!

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, this issue.

Technically, unless she is actually pointing to her vagina, using that term to describe her private parts down there would confuse her later. You could simply take a deep breath and use the correct anatomical terminology for all of her private parts, or do what I did at that age - I called it a crotch. But I always used the word 'breasts' and 'nipples'.

Funny, the older they got, the more correct the words I used for the below the belly button parts, and breasts became boobs. Go figure.

Anyways, you'll do fine using whatever words you choose for now. :)

Oh, and I still have to change blogger accts since the move...thanks for the reminder!


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