Thinking about everything and nothing at all...

I haven't visited my moms house since August or September of last year. I can't even remember if I went to my dads grave or not. April will be 2 years since his death and I doubt I'll be able to make it back before then... So hopefully, I'll be going to his grave this weekend... without the kids, without anyone. That got me thinking... why do we bring flowers to the dead? When did that start and what was the original thought? My mom told me on Valentines Day she took a balloon there and let it go in hopes that it would reach him... We ALL know it won't though. Even she knows it, so doesn't false hope do more harm than good? If there is a spiritual life, certainly nothing from the living world could cross it. Hence why when we die, nothing else goes with us. I don't know... it's just a thought. I find myself scared to go to the cemetary for some reason. I even feel like the second I walk into her house I'll be struggling to fight back tears. I think of my dad often, but it doesn't seem to be enough to ward off the hurt of his death. Recently, a lot of memories came to mind about him, not all good ones. Not even most of them were good. Just a couple of them were sweet. Maybe it won't be as bad as I think.

Yesterday, I kept myself busy all day and got a couple of pictures on the computer:




















Today, I'm just tired and found a new way to blog a little more..... while nursing! It's not like I can do too many other things while nursing. Certainly not the dishes or the laundry. And that's all she wrote.... hope everyone has a lovely weekend.