I'm going insane. It's 2:30 am and I can't sleep. My blood sugar is out of whack, above 400 but I need to sleep so I can get up tomorrow and not be tired at work. I'm frustrated from everything caused by Diabetes. The insomnia, the level of my glucose, having to limp around from an old foot injury, dealing with sebaceous cysts on a weekly basis. Dealing with sebaceous cyst also means performing surgery in my own bathroom as best as I can! Which leads me to the fact that I'm tired of keeping gauze, tape, wound cleaner in my bathroom. And the cysts just keep coming back, over and over and over again!! Probably because I shouldn't be opening them on my own but there is no other way to get relief from the pressure. I don't know what to do.
I've been trying to get insurance but it's impossible, and I've called so many numbers, hit so many dead ends. I even had one lady tell me to go check myself into a hospital for six days before I get kidney failure. I've even tried finding a fulltime job but daycare for 2 kids wouldn't even be covered on a pay check. I shouldn't HAVE to use daycare. I should be able to raise my own children. Not just pick them up, feed them dinner and put them to bed! The only time I see myself getting insurance, is when the children are old enough for school. And by then, it may be too late.