Friday, May 30, 2008

Do I prepare now for a life of hell later?

I'm not even sure how to title something like this. Holly's comment on my last post hit hard. But I'm not sure what I can do about it. Everything needs to change. And at this point, I'm thinking I joined a gym at the wrong time. Instead of going 3 days a week. I'm averaging between one and two. I get up in the morning and my foot is hurting so badly that I can barely walk on it.

How can I lose weight after an injury that bad? It's one thing to break one bone in your foot. But I pretty much broke all the main ones, dislocated everything and tore ligaments. This August will be almost seven years. I used to have perfectly controlled diabetes until the exercise factor was lost. I can barely get on the treadmill at the gym now. I tried yoga and I couldn't balance at all. I've lost all balance, all coordination and on top of that, I have neuropathy. I HATE THIS. I hate getting up in the morning. I have two beautiful children who love me and just want me to run around after them, but not even 5 minutes in something on me (leg area) starts to ache.

I decided to get on the ball about trying to get medicine. I've been reluctant to take insulin but I did for the passed week. I gain 7 lbs in a week. Insulin causes weight gain. This isn't good either. I feel like there is no answer. I feel like at this point, there isn't anything I can do. The insulin I have at the house insulin my friend gave me because she switched to something else. I looked up with my insurance company, if I want to get my insulin monthy from a pharmacy here--- they won't pay for it. I have to get it mail order and get a 3 months supply.

This is what I'm looking at having to pay:
2 vials of humalog insulin for 3 months is $276.50.
1 vial of lantus for 3 months is $218.22, it's not covered at all.
I'll need 300 test strips for 3 months so I can test my blood HALF of the recommend time. 50 are $52.79. For 300 it's $316.74.

$811.46..... Lancets and syringes aren't even figured in. I don't know what to do. $270 if you divide it by 3 months but if I barely bring that in a week? What am I supposed to do? If so many americans are diabetics, why isn't there anything out there to help people who aren't low income but need the help? I didn't ask for diabeties. I didn't get it because I was overweight. I got it because a doctor gave me steriods without looking at my family history of diabetes and I have to suffer forever now. It's not right.

I think I just need to cry.


Holly Schwendiman said...

Oh sweetie, you go ahead and cry. Sometimes it's just what we need and other times it's all we can do. Here's a cyber tissue. *wink*

I wish you lived at my house - you could use my digital pressure cooker to your heart's content and you could exercise in my pool. It's the only exercise my joints will tolerate after a nasty virus several years ago that really took them out.

My mom did a lot of learning a few years ago about the difficulty in losing weight being related to insulin resistance genes. One thing I remember was high protein diets helping. She also learned about the important of oxygen and breathing related to weight and exercising and found that to be a major factor - I mention them only because you never know what might be useful or helpful.

I'm so sorry you keep running into so many roadblocks! They are down right discouraging.

Hugs & Prayers,

Queen Bug said...

You're the best, Holly!


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