Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Frustrated

I need to get a grip on Lanie. I've tried everything from Time Outs to distractions, from Talking to Spanking. Nothing seems to work to get her to listen. Last night we decided to get the kids a Junior banana split from Sonic. We get out and sit on the benches, when it's time to go... we're trying to clean up and all of a sudden Lanie takes off running to the car-- By herself. The drive home was quiet and somber. Except for her crying in the back when we gave her the list of people that she would hurt if something happened to her.

The kid just can't listen. She's so hyper in her own head that she can't comprehend anything. I know she understands the words that come out of our mouth. But either she doesn't care, which I wouldn't even know how to fix that. Or she has no self-control. Which again would be something I'm not quite sure how to fix but I'm sure it's easier to fix that then it would be to fix something she does not care about. Butr it's hard to determine this. At what point does a behavoiral specialist need to get in on it? I don't think we're at that point yet. We may never get there but I'm tried of her not listening to the smallest direction. We let the kid stay up until 9pm and she still won't go to sleep. She won't take a nap. She won't eat what we give her, EVEN when SHE asks for it. "Mommy, I want cereal." Okay, so I give her cereal. Then "Mommy, I don't want cereal." At that point I get to say "It's in front of you now and it's too late to change your mind." Then comes that "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO" screaming fit and the tantrum that makes me look at her like she's a demon child. Something has obviously possessed my used-to-be sweet child. Don't get my wrong, she still CAN be very sweet but that only happens rarely now. I've tried every method out there. Googling why my child won't listen, and to get ideas to see if there are any parents out there that have the same problem that I'm having. I've gotten no real advice or tips.

It's nap time, she does not have to take a nap but she does have to be quiet. She can look at books in her bed. But she's not allowed off of her bed. Simple instruction. She was a terror yesterday, and a terror today. Getting up and getting ice cream at breakfast then throwing a tantrum when I take it away. She asked me to put a movie on and when I'm trying to clean up, she's trying to get into everything she shouldn't. What happened? We didn't even make it a quarter of the way through the movie before her toys got taken away. I have to tell her to go to time out 50 times, and even then I have to take her myself and then she throws a tantrum that could possibly end up hurting her. It's crazy. What's wrong with her? It she a few fuses short or something? She just can't listen. It's driving me absolutely insane. She just had everything in her room taken away. Her room is gutted. No stuffed animals, no beloved Tinkerbell tent. No books out, no Cinderella doll. No Story Book pillow or princess reading pillow. Just her dressers and her bed. She's cried so hard that she can hardly breathe right. What can I do? I caught her standing on one of her chairs 6 times. We started quiet time at 11:30 and it's almost 1pm and there hasn't even been 2 straight minutes of quiet time.

Yesterday was the same. I'm tired. I work late, and then I'm up late dealing with everything if a kid can't or won't sleep, if Daddy D is sick or hurting. That's extra time I'm awake, or extra breaks in sleep and on top of that some nights I just can't sleep at all. I NEED quiet time/nap time for my own sanity. I don't want to spank her. I've tried it. It doesn't work. She still doesn't listen. If I spank her, what does she learn? The only thing she'll think is "Mommy hit me." She's not going to think about why I hit her. I've tried talking to her, she looks at me like she's listening. I use terms she can understand. I repeat-- A LOT, and then I ask her to tell me what I said in "Lanie's words" and she does. She doesn't repeat what I say word for word. Then I leave her, and what happens? She doesn't listen to what I said AT ALL. It amazes me that I can sit here and type this blog while my daughter is crying her eyes out because everything she loves is gone.... But I'm out of ideas. Literally out of ideas. The fact that she could've been hit by a car yesterday baffles me. She needs to be on one of those kid leashes all day. I've set boundaries, I don't say no to everything, but she still doesn't listen.... No once. I enjoy being with my children but it's days like these that I start counting down the days until they are in school. Then I realize, she will behave this way in school and it has to stop--- Now.


Any ideas... from anyone?

4 comments:

Holly Schwendiman said...

Two things that come to mind...Love and Logic - this is both a program and a book I believe. Also a book called something like "Raising the High Spirited Child"

I actually do have some other ideas too but I'd say start there...or e-mail me ANYTIME. :)

Hugs,
Holly

Queen Bug said...

Oh... more ideas?!

I'll need your email address.

I enrolled her in a preschool today. It's only 3 days a week for 2 1/2 hours but may be they can help me help her. She seemed to like it today. I hope it works!

Daddy Forever said...

Our youngest one is a pain too. She's so cute, but can be a monster too.

Tonia said...

I agree with Raising the Spirited Child. Rece is definitely very similar to that. And I say that it doesn't hurt to talk to your pediatrician about it and a possible behavioral therapist. We have our first appointment with one on Thursday. GL.

 

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