Saturday, December 12, 2009

Sick. :(

My brother  had some wonderful insight: Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

That's probably one of the best things I have heard him say. It's so true. The situation with my half-brother, which I won't go into detail on here. It's on livejournal. It could have easily gone a different way. Had he just admitted to the things he had done. We weren't even looking for an apology, but instead, he tried to turn things around and blame us for his actions when.... They were his decisions that he didn't even consult us on. We don't live close. He lives in another state but we'll no longer have a relationship with him because he couldn't admit to the bad decisions he made over the course of the last 13 or so years. Even though we weren't close location wise, his decisions affected us because ultimately, we're the ones he turned to for help to get out of those situations. That ending is done. I know all too well how short life can be and I'm not wasting my time on people like that. Not sure what I would do if he apologized. There are always chances to be given, but it would only take 1 mess up to send it back over board. I am not a sensitive person. Most of my side of the  family aren't sensitive people. You don't respect us, you don't like us, whatever the case may be, say it to our faces, and move on. It doesn't bother us. So essentially, that's what we did. It didn't bother him and so it is what it is. That's how we all work apparently.

Anyway, decided to try to spend a little extra time in bed this morning. Everyone else is up and downstairs. I don't feel well---- cough, etc. The cough is weird so I might have to get it looked at or get on antibiotics. We'll see. I usually wait a week but since I will be on the phones all the time, I probably should go see a doctor.  I couldn't sleep the other night because I was coughing so much so I decided to watch some TV. Bill Cosby "Himself" was on. We love particular one of his. We quote it all the time. Even in both delivery rooms for Bug and Bee.  He's gets in to life, having a child, having more than 1 child and the difference. I had no choice but to laugh-cough when he got to the part where his children would not stop annoying each other. My girls are at that point right now. I'm hoping it doesn't last too long. It is hilarious though. They stick up for one another when something happens. If I ask them who spilled Penny's (our doggie) food. Bee will say Bug did it, and Bug will say Bee did it. It's like they think we won't punish them. Bug NEVER plays with Penny's food dish, we know Bee did it but they both get punished for not telling the truth. It drives me mad somedays. How long does this part actually last?  Bill Cosby probably answers that too when he said that in any stage of parenting, if you talk to people, it only gets worse. Haha I know that there are good and bad things about each phase, but it's still funny. I see the chain.... I look at person with tiny baby and smile or laugh. People with older children look at me with my toddlers and laugh. Oh to be in their head so I know what's coming up next!

Side note: We are all really enjoying my mom being here. The girls especially enjoy when she comes for extended periods of time. And I'm sure it's a lot easier for her now. Last time she volunteered to watch the girls while I trained for a job was in 2007. Bee was only 9 months old. Big difference from then to now. (Speaking of the Bee, I went to her birthday party location site. It was like FunLand, seriously, I actually wanted to stay and play. I think The little bugs will like it. :) Done with that now)

I'm trying to find something special to do for my mom. I know how she is though, it can't be expensive or extravagant (Not that I'd do that anyway.).  But I need to do something for her. Both times I've needed her to be here for a long period of time, she made it work. All I had to say was "the family needs me to have this job," and she came. I didn't have to say "are you sure," a million times. She just came. And she's having fun, she's excited to be here for them. She better live forever! I know she won't, but it's something I think about often. She's a smart lady. I can tell her anything and she'll offer advice (not push it) and generally when I take it, I end up happier. Mother's day seriously should be everyday. I can't imagine not having her in our lives.  She's such a staple i n Bug and Bees life. Even if we're not visiting, she talks on the phone with them almost everyday. Me and her are on the phone 5 or more times a day, I think. I hope I have that relationship with my bug and bee when they're older. It shouldn't be too hard. Redmosqui says they're never moving out. ;)


Holly Schwendiman said...

Hope the cough goes away quickly! So fun to have your mom with you. :)


Daddy Forever said...

So sorry about your relationship with your brother. And I hope you get better soon.


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