Update... Kind of long.

First off, thank you to those who have emailed me wondering how I've been and wondering why I've been MIA.

Things got a little crazy after my procedure on the 24th of November. They put the stent in my pancreas, I woke up in pain but luckily after 6 doses of morphine they were able to send me home. I could feel it in there. But it falls out within two weeks. The whole two weeks were unbearable. It was crazy. I couldn't eat or drink without pain. By the end of the week, we found ourselves in my hometown to visit my niece. Who had just had a piece of her brain removed in hopes that it would stop the seizures she's had for the last 9 years. She's such a brave girl. I am glad we went to see her. She was nervous about being around us without her wig on but we assured her that we love her, that she's beautiful with or without hair, and that she's the bravest person I know. We compared our PICC line scars too. I told her people go through things with their health that aren't easy but they do get through them and so will she. So far, there are only a few things affected by her surgery. One is her vision. She has no peripheral vision, and her memory is a little affected. She's having trouble with spelling too. But hopefully once she is back doing school work, it will all come back to her. The spelling can be re-learned. We're lucky that she's okay. All 120 stitches have been removed and she can start the hard work of healing. That's my girl!

I, on the other hand got pancreatitis again. We're not sure if the stent caused it, or if it was just another episode. I was in the hospital around 4 days. I actually told them they had to discharge me because they've treated me... well, pretty crappy! There are talks of another stent or maybe other surgical measures of working with my pancreas. We'll see what happens. I've been in the hospital 3 times in 2 months. It's getting very frustrating. Especially when I know better than to go to the hospital that I've been going to. This entire year I have had to go out of the area to get taken care of, to get professionals that know what they're doing. But of course, this hospital is only 2 or 3 miles from me. The next hospital, in either direction is 20 miles. When you're in pain 2 miles is a lot easier to drive than 20. So...we'll see. Even the thought of going to that hospital again makes me cringe. I think the only thing they've done right since I have been visiting the hospital is the delivery of the children. In Bugs case, it was an emergency delivery. In Bee's case, it was an overnight stay, then a delivery. Both times I was very happy. They were very accommodating. I really don't know what happened.

There are a lot of stresses in my life right now. One is money. I haven't been paid in almost 2 months, so we're relying on our credit card. I did receive good news from work though. I was written up in October, but they've suspended all write ups. So that's great! But then of course, the company did a company wide shift bid, and because I wasn't there to bid on a shift they randomly assigned me one that people would normally love to have. I work 5pm-1:30am. I do this so I can be with my kids during the day. Way back in 2005 when bug was 6 months old, I told my husband I wanted to job. To make it work out, we decided that I could work nights since I wanted a job so badly. I was afraid that having graduated from college, if I didn't use my degree or at least keep up a resume that it would be hard to start from scratch so I've been working nights since then. My schedule starting next year is 8:30am-5pm. Normally that would be great but I don't want my youngest daughter, the Bee in day care. That doesn't work for me. I enjoy being with my kids. We sacrifice time together as husband and wife, but it's so worth it. No day care cost, and the kids get one on one time with each of us alone. Both kids love that. I'll be going to work after the holidays so hopefully I can work out the scheduling. I found someone to swap schedules with me, but they already told me no on that. They want me to work 8:30-5. I don't know.



I've gotten to do a lot of happy things, and have a lot more to do as well. We've had movie marathons. I got to see my niece after her surgery. We had Thanksgiving with the family. And Rylephant (the youngest of the cousins for right now) had a cute Turkey hat. Definitely a Turkey that you could just eat up with kisses. I got to babysit my nephew S the Pirate so that his mom could go to a doctor appointment for the newest youngest cousin that will be here in July 2011. Bug had a Christmas concert at her school. Bee will have her Christmas concert next week. Red and I have our 5th Anniversary this Friday. My Uncle and Aunt are coming down from MA with their 4 kids. I haven't seen them in almost 6 years for Christmas. In fact, I've never met their twin boys. We also have Bee's birthday coming up the first week of January. I am excited for all that.

So here is a message to everyone. Here is what I have learned this year. If you know you're are suffering from something. You just don't feel right. Keep going to the doctor. Apparently, I have had this for years but the attacks were about twice a year. Instinctively, I always did part of the treatment on my own. I'd stop eating and drinking to give my body a break. Around the end of last year, even Red said that we had to figure it out. Even he knew something was wrong. Doctors, emergency room people at the hospital I've been going to never figured it out even when the attacks came on a monthly basis. I had to go to a different city, and a different hospital. Pancreatitis is deadly if let go. It leads to so many things. Pancreatic cancer being one of them since the pancreas hardens and scars with every attack. Take care of yourselves. There's only one you, and life is too short to leave early.


Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Bug Family.