"So this is the new year and I don't feel any different."

Christmas was crazy super busy. After we got home and got settled Bug and Bee naturally want to play so we spent a lot of time ripping, cutting and twisting, Watching them jump up and down. They wore their new nighties bed. The next morning we took down all of our Christmas stuff. We also did have a sorta decent white Christmas with lots more snow fall. And yes, we do take down our decor because just a  few days later, we celebrate Bee's birthday which is the third of January..

However on the 28th, I came down with pancreatits. While Red made Gyros that I really wanted (trying go back to Greek and Lebanese tradtions) Needless to say that I didn't get my Gyro on the 28th. I kissed everyone goodbye and went to the ER. Yes, the same hospital I don't like and would rather go to a vets office to be put down,but again it's a few miles from my house. Anyway... they took me in, took my vital signs and got me a room. I remembered telling them it was pancreatitis and told them I was a higher than a 10 the stupid. After that I don't remember anything for days. In fact, I wasn't even coherent on my daughters birthday. Today is January 19th, I only remember the last6 or 7 days. I'm going to need physical therapy to get everything going again. With Pancreatitis they have to wean you back on food. We haven't started that yet. My Pancreas enzymes that they like to have between 0-160 were 3.000, and my triglycerides were 8,700. They like that below 150. All I remember is the hallucinations and delusions from the medications. Red said he got a phone call at 4am with nurses telling thim I ripped out my picc line, all my IV's and was getting ready to leave. Somehow....I stayed. This has been the longest, hardest battle I've had so far. I missed new years and Bee's birthday. I've got tubers out my arms, noses, catheters, etc. I also have a beautiful "Fall Risk" braclet. The hardest part is that I am in the Critical care unit so the girls can't see me. But my mom came down and they both come once a day.I may get on a transplant list for a new pancreas.I guess we'll see what happens. Here are some pictures of my personal hell: