So I got home at 2am this morning. I felt compelled to really help my last customer so I got out of there late. Anyway, I feel like ranting again about my dysfunctional life. I should be sleeping. My kids will be up at at 'em by 7:30am at the latest. So, yeah, I should be asleep. Especially since they have preschool, then after I pick them up I have my appointment with a specialist since I don't have a stomach bug. Stomach bugs don't like for almost a month. That's how long I have been dealing with stomach-bug-like symptoms. Great, isn't it?
So anyway, my rant is about....nothing really. Guess I could just talk about my new job. I don't have anything to go on and on about for once. I did get a sales bonus. It is an awesome bonus that will be 40% taxed. I am anxious to see what my Feb. bonus will be like, if there is one. I got 2 of three bonuses, and was about 1% away from that third bonus. But I am thankful for what I got. I am really lucky. I talk to a lot of people during the day at work and you'd be surprised how many people have been laid off or are unemployed. I got two healthy girls. Hopefully tomorrow I will find out what's going on. My diabetes blood work came back perfect. My kidneys will be stressed for a while but there isn't much I can do about that. My girls are happy, healthy and enjoying the new childcare situation with one of my "best good friends." Which I am glad. They love her and her children. It was really the perfect situation for us and she is also one of the Americans that currently does not have a job. So it gives me a chance to help her out as much as she is helping me. Thank goodness for family friends.
Me and my best good friend are taking cake decorating classes together. Which is good. Bug will be 5 in less than 50 days!! She's excited and talks about her birthday often. I am almost tempted to tell her if she keeps talking about it, it'll disappear. She's on the fence about what kind of party she wants. She keeps changing it. Varying from Hannah Montana to Batman and Spiderman. Thank goodness she's only mentioned those once last month. She also mention Ariel, but little does she know--- it's Cinderella. She picked a few months ago, so that's what it's going to be. I already have all of the stuff. She did this with her birthday party last year. I don't like fickleness. At all. She will learn. She WILL learn.
Ok, I think I should be done. I could probably write forever, but I am not. I am going to force myself to go to sleep. :)
Showing posts with label dysfunction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dysfunction. Show all posts
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
My Dysfunctional Life
Ok, so here is a long whiny story about my life in general, and about my day today. I don't expect anyone to read it but I can't go to sleep right now so I need to stay awake. I will give more information on that later. On with the story. It may get to be blunt and TMI, but you know what? People love TMI. I know it, you know it. The sooner people admit the more information they will receive right?
My week has been awful. Apparently, I caught a stomach bug that landed me in the ER yesterday. I have some nice drugs but have yet to fill out the RX. I have barely eaten anything for the last six days. I don't know how to throw up so you can imagine. When I went to the ER, I took Brian Regans advice and I said "8" for my pain. I had the kids with me I told them no drowsy meds, and they listened. I really do feel like I am imploding. A Cat Scan and some blood work later, I need to be seen by my primary care doctor then referred to a specialist. Fun. I've been going to work through it all. There is a 3 occurrence policy the first year. So, here is why I can't sleep: I am diabetic. I have an insulin pump. Apparently, I forgot it gives me continuous insulin. Earlier today right before it was drop my kids off at friends house time, I couldn't see. I had to ask my daughter to get my phone for me and I call my friend. My blood sugar dropped to 40. I was on the verge of a coma. I attempted to eat, but with the stomach issue, that didn't go over so well. I really thought I'd end up on an ambulance but I was surprised after a half hour and a ton of sugar--- it was at 70. I tried to eat tonight but it didn't work. My blood sugar is in the 60's. So, hopefully if it comes up, I can go to sleep. Otherwise, I may be going into a different kind of sleep--- The non-preferable one. (coma)
This is what is on my mind tonight:
Here is Redmosqui's take on our Past and Present: Click Here.
My take is a little different. And you know, it never really started out that way. It start out where my only responsibility was car insurance. So I got a part time job working at Kohls. It just so happened my other mother called me. She's a family friend that's been in our lives for a really long time called me up and said "Hey, the company I work for has a job paying $10 per hour working as a vendor. It's a hard job, but it's fun and you choose your own hours. It's at the home depot a mile from you and it would really help my friend out." So, BAM, interviewed, got a second job, and fell in love with the job and really loved my manager. 2 jobs. Then when I found out I was pregnant with the Bee, I left the job at Kohl's which had some pretty rude managers to do a manual labor job at Home Depot while pregnant, but the pick your own hours thing kind of appealed to me. It was better pay than Kohl's, too. But I got used to getting paid with 2 jobs. So around holiday time 2006, I got a second holiday job at Garden Ridge. The pay was peanuts but it was a fun place to work, I LOVED the people. And the 20% employee discount. Shortly before Christmas, I was too pregnant to keep up both. I also had a Hernia in the groin while pregnant with Bee, doing manual labor, working 2 jobs. Fun, fun times. Early December, I stopped working at Garden Ridge. Late December, the 28th to be exact, My Vendor job season ended and I started getting laid off unemployment until the season began again in March. Bee was born January 3rd. I got the laid off unemployment until March, and then resumed with the Vendor job, only it had changed. Instead of working at my mile-up-the-street store, they sold it to another greenhouse so I had to travel around the ENTIRE Charlotte, NC area. No fun. Not enough time to get it done after Redmosqui got home. My Mothers Day that job ended. I reapplyed for Garden Ridge, but only stayed there 2 months as getting paid peanuts didn't work for me at the time and I didn't need the employee discount anymore. I decided NOT to work at all.
Of course, that was short lived because opportunity knocked again. I. Love. Opportunity. I got an email from a call center, they'd work with my hours and I'd get insurance. My mom would come while I trained for 8 weeks to watch the kids then I could start my normal hours. Great! Full time job with Health Insurance. I was pumped. I was nervous about a sales job but then I turned out to be really good at it. The downside was, in order to get 40 hours a week--- I had to work 6 days a week. 5-11. Then the company showed it's true colors, I was promoted, demoted, promoted---- making a nice salary, finally had 2 days off. Wasn't even in my wonderful supervisor position for a year when my department was outsourced to India. Then I was demoted again to half of what I was making. My hours changed so I was staying there later at night. But the plus side was the weekends off. But making less than half of what I made before defeated the purpose of working there. It was a terrible place to work. Things changed every minute and no where near for the better. People were fired or quit by the dozens monthly. What was the point of health insurance if I couldn't afford to pay my copays? I knew I would miss my "work family but I applied for another sales job. I knew I would get it. I just had to arrange the right childcare that would work best for us in order to pursue my new career. Yes, folks. A career. Something I didn't intent to pursue until about 2013-2014. It feels good. I do well there and once again, I have a "work family" that I would sorely miss if I left. And I will make great bonuses. So, what's the problem? I'm physically and mentally unwell. (Que Rob Thomas--- I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell.) Here is 1 day in my life.
1:30am--- Walk in the door from work. (yes, the AM is correct, 1 AM)
2:00-- Get ready for bed.
3:00-- Hopefully asleep by then.
6:00-7:00-- At some point the kids wake up during this time.
7:00-7:30-- Spent trying to make the kids do something that will still let me get some more sleep.
7:30--- I give up, go downstairs and find some kind of breakfast that they won't choke themselves on and try to get dishes done.... Or lay down in the living room a little bit longer (my favorite option.)
8:00-- We head back upstairs to get dressed and ready to go. 3 girls takes a while!
8:30-- Pack the girls' a snack for school.
8:45-- In the car on the way to school.
9:00-11:00 (on Tues/Thurs only) Bee has school. So I either get groceries or pick up things we need, make phone calls, etc.
11:00-- pick bee up and wait an hour with her until Bug gets out.
12:00 Bug is done. I bring them home and make them lunch.
1:30-- QUIET TIME (for the kids), my time to take a shower and get ready for work.
2:30-- Quiet time is over and I get them up to get them ready to go again.
3:00-- I drop them off at my friends house so I can head to work.
4:00--- I better be at work or I am late. I get off at 12:30am
--- And repeat.
I was thinking about it and I actually get in and out of the car around 11 times a day, assuming I don't run errands and come straight home after dropping them off at school. Yup. BURNED. I love my work family, I love my home family. I love my job but wow am I tired. I am really feeling it.
My week has been awful. Apparently, I caught a stomach bug that landed me in the ER yesterday. I have some nice drugs but have yet to fill out the RX. I have barely eaten anything for the last six days. I don't know how to throw up so you can imagine. When I went to the ER, I took Brian Regans advice and I said "8" for my pain. I had the kids with me I told them no drowsy meds, and they listened. I really do feel like I am imploding. A Cat Scan and some blood work later, I need to be seen by my primary care doctor then referred to a specialist. Fun. I've been going to work through it all. There is a 3 occurrence policy the first year. So, here is why I can't sleep: I am diabetic. I have an insulin pump. Apparently, I forgot it gives me continuous insulin. Earlier today right before it was drop my kids off at friends house time, I couldn't see. I had to ask my daughter to get my phone for me and I call my friend. My blood sugar dropped to 40. I was on the verge of a coma. I attempted to eat, but with the stomach issue, that didn't go over so well. I really thought I'd end up on an ambulance but I was surprised after a half hour and a ton of sugar--- it was at 70. I tried to eat tonight but it didn't work. My blood sugar is in the 60's. So, hopefully if it comes up, I can go to sleep. Otherwise, I may be going into a different kind of sleep--- The non-preferable one. (coma)
This is what is on my mind tonight:
Here is Redmosqui's take on our Past and Present: Click Here.
My take is a little different. And you know, it never really started out that way. It start out where my only responsibility was car insurance. So I got a part time job working at Kohls. It just so happened my other mother called me. She's a family friend that's been in our lives for a really long time called me up and said "Hey, the company I work for has a job paying $10 per hour working as a vendor. It's a hard job, but it's fun and you choose your own hours. It's at the home depot a mile from you and it would really help my friend out." So, BAM, interviewed, got a second job, and fell in love with the job and really loved my manager. 2 jobs. Then when I found out I was pregnant with the Bee, I left the job at Kohl's which had some pretty rude managers to do a manual labor job at Home Depot while pregnant, but the pick your own hours thing kind of appealed to me. It was better pay than Kohl's, too. But I got used to getting paid with 2 jobs. So around holiday time 2006, I got a second holiday job at Garden Ridge. The pay was peanuts but it was a fun place to work, I LOVED the people. And the 20% employee discount. Shortly before Christmas, I was too pregnant to keep up both. I also had a Hernia in the groin while pregnant with Bee, doing manual labor, working 2 jobs. Fun, fun times. Early December, I stopped working at Garden Ridge. Late December, the 28th to be exact, My Vendor job season ended and I started getting laid off unemployment until the season began again in March. Bee was born January 3rd. I got the laid off unemployment until March, and then resumed with the Vendor job, only it had changed. Instead of working at my mile-up-the-street store, they sold it to another greenhouse so I had to travel around the ENTIRE Charlotte, NC area. No fun. Not enough time to get it done after Redmosqui got home. My Mothers Day that job ended. I reapplyed for Garden Ridge, but only stayed there 2 months as getting paid peanuts didn't work for me at the time and I didn't need the employee discount anymore. I decided NOT to work at all.
Of course, that was short lived because opportunity knocked again. I. Love. Opportunity. I got an email from a call center, they'd work with my hours and I'd get insurance. My mom would come while I trained for 8 weeks to watch the kids then I could start my normal hours. Great! Full time job with Health Insurance. I was pumped. I was nervous about a sales job but then I turned out to be really good at it. The downside was, in order to get 40 hours a week--- I had to work 6 days a week. 5-11. Then the company showed it's true colors, I was promoted, demoted, promoted---- making a nice salary, finally had 2 days off. Wasn't even in my wonderful supervisor position for a year when my department was outsourced to India. Then I was demoted again to half of what I was making. My hours changed so I was staying there later at night. But the plus side was the weekends off. But making less than half of what I made before defeated the purpose of working there. It was a terrible place to work. Things changed every minute and no where near for the better. People were fired or quit by the dozens monthly. What was the point of health insurance if I couldn't afford to pay my copays? I knew I would miss my "work family but I applied for another sales job. I knew I would get it. I just had to arrange the right childcare that would work best for us in order to pursue my new career. Yes, folks. A career. Something I didn't intent to pursue until about 2013-2014. It feels good. I do well there and once again, I have a "work family" that I would sorely miss if I left. And I will make great bonuses. So, what's the problem? I'm physically and mentally unwell. (Que Rob Thomas--- I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell.) Here is 1 day in my life.
1:30am--- Walk in the door from work. (yes, the AM is correct, 1 AM)
2:00-- Get ready for bed.
3:00-- Hopefully asleep by then.
6:00-7:00-- At some point the kids wake up during this time.
7:00-7:30-- Spent trying to make the kids do something that will still let me get some more sleep.
7:30--- I give up, go downstairs and find some kind of breakfast that they won't choke themselves on and try to get dishes done.... Or lay down in the living room a little bit longer (my favorite option.)
8:00-- We head back upstairs to get dressed and ready to go. 3 girls takes a while!
8:30-- Pack the girls' a snack for school.
8:45-- In the car on the way to school.
9:00-11:00 (on Tues/Thurs only) Bee has school. So I either get groceries or pick up things we need, make phone calls, etc.
11:00-- pick bee up and wait an hour with her until Bug gets out.
12:00 Bug is done. I bring them home and make them lunch.
1:30-- QUIET TIME (for the kids), my time to take a shower and get ready for work.
2:30-- Quiet time is over and I get them up to get them ready to go again.
3:00-- I drop them off at my friends house so I can head to work.
4:00--- I better be at work or I am late. I get off at 12:30am
--- And repeat.
I was thinking about it and I actually get in and out of the car around 11 times a day, assuming I don't run errands and come straight home after dropping them off at school. Yup. BURNED. I love my work family, I love my home family. I love my job but wow am I tired. I am really feeling it.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Changes
I've blogged several times about my new job that I started in October. A lot has been involved with it from interviewing to taking tests and studying to get licenses and then training for the actual job. Training spans more than 16 weeks. Well, this week marked the end of training. We had one of my best friends come stay to babysit the first 8 and my mom came the next 8. The support that I have been shown from my friends and my mom has been amazing... Another one of my "best good friends" will be watching my girls for an hour and a half a day, 4 days a week. Like I said, the support has been amazing. And I am eternally grateful for it. And hope that I do and can show the same support to them. As this week ends, my moms stay is over. And I'll miss coffee with her in the morning. Running around with her during the day and seeing the kids cuddle up with their Tettabug. She said she'd stay until the day after my birthday so I am sad to say she'll be leaving Saturday. She's been amazing. Letting me sleep in in the morning. She knows better than anyone that while I like change and welcome it... It is an adjustment period. I had not full gotten used to the 1:30-10:00pm shift, and Monday I will be on the 4:00pm-12:30am shift.
I don't know how I will be handling it. But I guess we shall see. The hardest part is not getting home until 1-1:30am. The kids will be awake between 6-7am. It's going to be rough. But at least I get to keep them out of a full time day care. That was the point of working opposite of Redmosqui. Another year of life in this world for me, and it's been nothing but changes. This time last year at my last job we were told that our department had a month left before it would be outsourced to India. I like my new job. I do well at it. I'm not the best but I don't expect to be. As long as I do it, and do it right. I love my coworkers even though I miss my old ones. I still keep in contact with some of them. I took tomorrow off since my mom will be leaving the day after. Redmosqui took today off as it was Pizza With Pops day. They got to tour the kitchen of CiCi's pizza, and make their own pizza's today. You can read about it and see pictures on my husbands blog:
Pizza with Pop
Hopefully with all these changes, I will still be able to blog a few times a week. I enjoyed catching up and reading everyones blogs again and meeting new bloggers in the community!
I don't know how I will be handling it. But I guess we shall see. The hardest part is not getting home until 1-1:30am. The kids will be awake between 6-7am. It's going to be rough. But at least I get to keep them out of a full time day care. That was the point of working opposite of Redmosqui. Another year of life in this world for me, and it's been nothing but changes. This time last year at my last job we were told that our department had a month left before it would be outsourced to India. I like my new job. I do well at it. I'm not the best but I don't expect to be. As long as I do it, and do it right. I love my coworkers even though I miss my old ones. I still keep in contact with some of them. I took tomorrow off since my mom will be leaving the day after. Redmosqui took today off as it was Pizza With Pops day. They got to tour the kitchen of CiCi's pizza, and make their own pizza's today. You can read about it and see pictures on my husbands blog:
Pizza with Pop
Hopefully with all these changes, I will still be able to blog a few times a week. I enjoyed catching up and reading everyones blogs again and meeting new bloggers in the community!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Clean House?
Things have been going very well for me lately. I found out today I'm the number one person in the English speaking group of our transition group (part 2 of training). Although this could change, and in fact, it will change... it was nice to hear it. I wouldn't say that I strive to be the best at work, but I do strive to do my best and I am glad when it shows. Most people stay away from sales because it's a rough job. I am glad to be one of the people to gravitate towards it and do well in it.
As for my diabetes, my kidneys are still stressed out badly. That's really the only downside I have in life right now. I didn't do this to my kidneys intentionally. I just couldn't afford the cost of insulin when I worked for a company who offered horrible insurance, mostly just for the sake of saying they offer it. I know my health isn't the best. My doctors have been forcing me to go to appointments by making them for me. I told them in time, I would make them myself. They ended up choosing people who aren't in my network-- for all 3 appointments she made. Eye doctor, heart doctor and OB/GYN. So I cancelled them. Right now, I just don't have to the time to run around and most importantly, I don't have the desire to go through a battery of tests just yet. Nothing really all that life threatening is happening so I don't see the emergency to get everything checked out. When I start my night shift, then I will have time. I had some time in the fitness center tonight after my shift ended. So now I'm awaking and wanting to clean the house at 1:30am. Heh....
Speaking of clean house....I have several blogs since I've been in the blogging community for so long. My "Adventures of Bug and Bee" blog is deleted among others that I didn't have on blogger. I just found it too hard to manage. And it had their first names all over them. I have also thought about deleting this one and joining Redmosqui on his blog but I like my title. This is an everything blog, where as his are just things going on randomly at any given time. So I will be keeping this one. I'm keeping "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" too but all the posts have been deleted from that one for a re-vamp and it's no longer permission only. And all the ones that were publicized are now deleted. I have other ideas for it. Whether they come into fruition is something completely different. So, it's official. I am now only on 3 places. 2 here on blogger and 1 on livejournal.
I am also finding a lack of time to juggle all of these things like I want to/used to when I was working part-time only. I enjoy writing, although I don't have time to write like I want to, and edit like I want to. I actually never go through and re-read or spell check then end up seeing all of the errors later. It's not something to worry about it, but I did major in History and writing was my forte. So sometimes it pains me to see the errors. What can you do? I suppose I could edit later, but that takes away from new post time. So the blogs have been cleaned up.
You know there is actually a company that will take your blog, turn it into a bound book and send you the published version? How crazy is that? I'm going to turn The Good, The Bad and the Ugly into something that I can do that with after I have enough posts. I have several ideas. All of which I want to see come into play but I know I need to pick one. We'll see how it goes. I just need to find out who does that again.
As for my diabetes, my kidneys are still stressed out badly. That's really the only downside I have in life right now. I didn't do this to my kidneys intentionally. I just couldn't afford the cost of insulin when I worked for a company who offered horrible insurance, mostly just for the sake of saying they offer it. I know my health isn't the best. My doctors have been forcing me to go to appointments by making them for me. I told them in time, I would make them myself. They ended up choosing people who aren't in my network-- for all 3 appointments she made. Eye doctor, heart doctor and OB/GYN. So I cancelled them. Right now, I just don't have to the time to run around and most importantly, I don't have the desire to go through a battery of tests just yet. Nothing really all that life threatening is happening so I don't see the emergency to get everything checked out. When I start my night shift, then I will have time. I had some time in the fitness center tonight after my shift ended. So now I'm awaking and wanting to clean the house at 1:30am. Heh....
Speaking of clean house....I have several blogs since I've been in the blogging community for so long. My "Adventures of Bug and Bee" blog is deleted among others that I didn't have on blogger. I just found it too hard to manage. And it had their first names all over them. I have also thought about deleting this one and joining Redmosqui on his blog but I like my title. This is an everything blog, where as his are just things going on randomly at any given time. So I will be keeping this one. I'm keeping "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" too but all the posts have been deleted from that one for a re-vamp and it's no longer permission only. And all the ones that were publicized are now deleted. I have other ideas for it. Whether they come into fruition is something completely different. So, it's official. I am now only on 3 places. 2 here on blogger and 1 on livejournal.
I am also finding a lack of time to juggle all of these things like I want to/used to when I was working part-time only. I enjoy writing, although I don't have time to write like I want to, and edit like I want to. I actually never go through and re-read or spell check then end up seeing all of the errors later. It's not something to worry about it, but I did major in History and writing was my forte. So sometimes it pains me to see the errors. What can you do? I suppose I could edit later, but that takes away from new post time. So the blogs have been cleaned up.
You know there is actually a company that will take your blog, turn it into a bound book and send you the published version? How crazy is that? I'm going to turn The Good, The Bad and the Ugly into something that I can do that with after I have enough posts. I have several ideas. All of which I want to see come into play but I know I need to pick one. We'll see how it goes. I just need to find out who does that again.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Book Reviews!
Good news! We were worried about what to do with the bugs. I needed childcare for about an hour a day, four days a week. I didn't want to put the bugs with someone they didn't know. But I also didn't want to put them with a daycare service and we can't put them with family do to jobs and what not. I really like my job. I'm doing well there and didn't want this to get in the way but I don't have to worry anymore. We now have awesome arrangements. Ones that both my husband and I are extremely happy with as it doesn't alter the girls lives, they will throughly enjoy where they'll be and it will bring the "normal" back to our lives that has temporarily been placed on hold while I complete training for this job. My only dilemma is whether or not I will put the Bee in a fulltime preschool and go back to school during the day while I continue to work nights since I am required to work nights for my first year at least. I did find one and I know she wants to go to school so we'll see. I think we may have to keep her in the Church preschool for at least one more year to get her prepared.
Next month I am also starting cake decorating classes with a really good friend of mine. I am so excited for that. I did miss a course though so I don't know what to expect. She already took that course, but we're doing it to spend time and have fun together. We both do our childrens, husbands and friends birthday cakes so it will be fun! But onto the point of my blogging--- Book Reviews!!! I just finished two books....
So, I received two books for Christmas. Redmosqui was determined to make me read books that are not one in a set. Just individual books.
The first one I read was The Magicians, by Lev Grossman. This book by the very last page left me speechless. His writing was beautiful. The words melted into scenes in my imagination. I was quickly swept worlds away. The details were so perfect. I was able to picture each character through the detail, all the way down to facial expressions. I can't even explain how well written it was enough so that anyone can comprehend it without reading it themselves. However, when I did finally read the last page, I was left wanting. Wanting a different ending. Wanting more details. Were more details needed? Absolutely not, but I didn't have questions.
The store follows Quentin Coldwater, a teenager about to enter into adulthood. His one downfall is that he's always looking for perfection, something better than what he has. So even when he has something really amazing, he things it's mundane, ordinary and just not worth it. It's probably how you would THINK Harry Potter should have ended. He does end up getting his initial wish to attend a school for magic. He gets wrapped up in the usual things boys get wrapped up in throughout the book--- girls, money, drinking, drugs and of course sex. But nothing ever seems to be enough for him. Even when all the things he ever dreamed about were staring him in the face. The book ends on that same note as well. Nothing, even after losing everything. I won't get into how... that's giving away the book but I will say that if you read this book you will realize that no matter how unhappy you are, no matter what situation you're in--- you're the one who decides if good things happen or if bad things happy. And you decide if you can be happy with hand you've dealt yourself.
The second book, Peter and Max, Fables A Novel by Bill Willingham essentially tells the story of Peter Piper, why he picked a pickled pepper....and his Brother Max. If I say anymore it may give away the story so I'll just talk about the way it was written. I'm very detail oriented especially when reading. So I when reading I need to know and understand everything. The book was written in third person point-of-view, shifting between the passed and the present. Even with the shift, it wasn't hard to undestand what was going on the story. Even though the story revolves around Peter Piper, there are visits from varions other "Fables," Little Bo Peep (and the true story of how she lost her sheep), Beauty and the Beast, Snow White (who has actually been divorsed a couple of times) and various others. It is an adult book, if you have young readers definitely wait until they are at least 16. But it is actually worth the read. Even though it isn't a series book.
I didn't want to spoil the books for anyone who wants to read them. I have been making a little bit of time for myself after work to deditcate to reading. Especially after reading the Magicians, I've learned that life is just that... life. You can spend your time hating it, or you can spend your time loving it. (That's how profound a lesson that book can teach you.) You could also probably spend it doing a little bit of both, but why bother? Love it and don't take things at face value so much because there is more than meets the eye--- always
Next month I am also starting cake decorating classes with a really good friend of mine. I am so excited for that. I did miss a course though so I don't know what to expect. She already took that course, but we're doing it to spend time and have fun together. We both do our childrens, husbands and friends birthday cakes so it will be fun! But onto the point of my blogging--- Book Reviews!!! I just finished two books....
So, I received two books for Christmas. Redmosqui was determined to make me read books that are not one in a set. Just individual books.
The first one I read was The Magicians, by Lev Grossman. This book by the very last page left me speechless. His writing was beautiful. The words melted into scenes in my imagination. I was quickly swept worlds away. The details were so perfect. I was able to picture each character through the detail, all the way down to facial expressions. I can't even explain how well written it was enough so that anyone can comprehend it without reading it themselves. However, when I did finally read the last page, I was left wanting. Wanting a different ending. Wanting more details. Were more details needed? Absolutely not, but I didn't have questions.
The store follows Quentin Coldwater, a teenager about to enter into adulthood. His one downfall is that he's always looking for perfection, something better than what he has. So even when he has something really amazing, he things it's mundane, ordinary and just not worth it. It's probably how you would THINK Harry Potter should have ended. He does end up getting his initial wish to attend a school for magic. He gets wrapped up in the usual things boys get wrapped up in throughout the book--- girls, money, drinking, drugs and of course sex. But nothing ever seems to be enough for him. Even when all the things he ever dreamed about were staring him in the face. The book ends on that same note as well. Nothing, even after losing everything. I won't get into how... that's giving away the book but I will say that if you read this book you will realize that no matter how unhappy you are, no matter what situation you're in--- you're the one who decides if good things happen or if bad things happy. And you decide if you can be happy with hand you've dealt yourself.
The second book, Peter and Max, Fables A Novel by Bill Willingham essentially tells the story of Peter Piper, why he picked a pickled pepper....and his Brother Max. If I say anymore it may give away the story so I'll just talk about the way it was written. I'm very detail oriented especially when reading. So I when reading I need to know and understand everything. The book was written in third person point-of-view, shifting between the passed and the present. Even with the shift, it wasn't hard to undestand what was going on the story. Even though the story revolves around Peter Piper, there are visits from varions other "Fables," Little Bo Peep (and the true story of how she lost her sheep), Beauty and the Beast, Snow White (who has actually been divorsed a couple of times) and various others. It is an adult book, if you have young readers definitely wait until they are at least 16. But it is actually worth the read. Even though it isn't a series book.
I didn't want to spoil the books for anyone who wants to read them. I have been making a little bit of time for myself after work to deditcate to reading. Especially after reading the Magicians, I've learned that life is just that... life. You can spend your time hating it, or you can spend your time loving it. (That's how profound a lesson that book can teach you.) You could also probably spend it doing a little bit of both, but why bother? Love it and don't take things at face value so much because there is more than meets the eye--- always
Frustrated
I don't understand why insulin makes you gain so much weight. I just lost all the weight I gained from getting back on insulin in June. I got back on insulin in December and the weight is back. It's not healthy and I'm tired of the up and down. Bleh. Not really sure what to do with that at this point. My doctor told me switch up exercises, but I'm already doing that. On top of that, I have to go up 61 steps to get to my desk at work and I almost never use the elevator unless I am carrying something fragile inside. I don't really want to get off the insulin pump but I don't want to get to the overweight point either.
The girls recently developed a habit of asking me if I'll be going to work "today." They know the answer, I give them the answer, but it's still disappointing to them. That frustrates me too, I can't stay home with them and I'm 100% fine with that. I'm doing what's right for our family to keep us in the good situation we're in now. When I was a full time stay at home mom, I missed having adults to talk to. I love the people I work with now. They're nice, awesome and funny. I've even had the talk with Bug and Bee that I like going to work and we make money that way. Bug tells me she wants to go to work at the Disney store so I don't have to go to work and she can make the money. It's sweet, but unfortunately, I have heart strings. And she knows just how to tug at them when she wants to! Little does Bug know what's in store for her this coming August. Kindergarten--- Oh the adventures bug will have in kindergarten. I'm excited for that! I'm making some exciting plans for summer for us. By the end of next month, I'll be done with training and starting my regular scheduled time to go into work. So perhaps Bug and Bee won't miss me so much then because we'll be together most of the day.
The girls recently developed a habit of asking me if I'll be going to work "today." They know the answer, I give them the answer, but it's still disappointing to them. That frustrates me too, I can't stay home with them and I'm 100% fine with that. I'm doing what's right for our family to keep us in the good situation we're in now. When I was a full time stay at home mom, I missed having adults to talk to. I love the people I work with now. They're nice, awesome and funny. I've even had the talk with Bug and Bee that I like going to work and we make money that way. Bug tells me she wants to go to work at the Disney store so I don't have to go to work and she can make the money. It's sweet, but unfortunately, I have heart strings. And she knows just how to tug at them when she wants to! Little does Bug know what's in store for her this coming August. Kindergarten--- Oh the adventures bug will have in kindergarten. I'm excited for that! I'm making some exciting plans for summer for us. By the end of next month, I'll be done with training and starting my regular scheduled time to go into work. So perhaps Bug and Bee won't miss me so much then because we'll be together most of the day.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Tylenol Sore Throat-- PM. Obviously didn't work tonight.
It's 2am....I have bronchitis... and it sucks. Anyway, I didn't come on here to complain about that. I *actually* have a real thought to write about-- Surprise, surprise. But don't listen too hard or comprehend too much, I am medicated after all.
I can't even remember which company this commercial is for... but it's about motherhood. And it shows a family and their children in several different scenes, babies, etc. Who ever wrote that commercial... obviously doesn't have kids. While I was watching it, I couldn't help but wonder... Is this what people think it is like to be a mother? A warm fuzzy feeling all the time? Granted... If I were pregnant, I'm sure that commercial would have me crying my eyes out. But it seems like people base too much happiness on parenthood and family when really it's more stress than it is warm and fuzzy or even happy. No wonder people are popping out babies at all various ages and stages of life. I will admit, it is a beautiful thing---- Kids are great. But they're not " fun runs in the park" and "fun on the beach" twenty four hours a day like people make them out to be. In fact, they can be dirty down right screaming monsters from some unknown underworld. In fact, I think that most of the time their halo, while visible to outsiders is actually held up by horns that are only visible to parents. I'm not saying children are evil... not one bit! I'm saying they can be. And commercials like these only seem to show people the great parts of being a parent.
I do love my kids, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade them in for the world but the subject of parenting has a lot of misconceptions in press. No one wants to show the true nature of children. I've been watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 a lot lately and they should show clips of that on all channels because that is the true parenting aspect right there. They've gotten over trying to be the perfect parents for the realization that it's impossible. Not because they have 8 kids, but because it really is impossible. Do you honestly think you could smile at your child while they take pancake syrup and massage into their clean head of hair, tell you "Leave me alone," or "you don't tell me?" What about when they have a melt down because you were wondering what they were doing and didn't realize that the look on your face of "what the..." could scare them so badly. Or how about when you're out shopping and every two steps you take you have to stop to pick up a sippy cup? And those are just normal things. What about when the children are sick? Even commercials for over-the-counter children's medication made parenthood seem like a cake walk. Where is the media/commercials, etc that show the world that raising children is something that is hard to do? Not just running around outside all happy and smiles? I was having a conversation about this with some people I know who do have children. Most people-- mainly women said that the media gave them a big misconception on what is was like to be a mother.
I always wondered why people smiled at me when I was pregnant. Most of them probably had children. Most of them probably knew what was going to happen to me... And most of them probably knew that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. My first little girl was eye-opening. No warmth or fuzziness in acid reflux I can tell you that. My second little girl, what can I say about that? Turned the world upside down. I don't regret my children, I just wish I still saw through rose-colored glasses like I see other people doing, BC (before children). I'm not materialistic but I like my things in tact, however, kids will eventually reach these things or figure out how to get them... which is another thing to get used to; nothing is yours anymore. Not even your food. When we go out to eat or even eat here at home, I have two children, who at food time cease to be children. Instead they are scavengers, sharks on a feeding frenzy. Even if they're eating the same thing, apparently if it's on my plate it must taste much better!
So now whenever I see a pregnant woman, like the ones that smiled at me... I smile at them. 9 months isn't even a fraction of a lifetime, but what comes after it never goes away. And finally, I am in the know about the big secret of "parenting." And it's definitely not what is portrayed on TV or in commercials. I guess everyone finds out eventually, especially when the child becomes a toddler...... I imagine it does get better as the children grow older. It has to. I read other blogs of people with older kids but I'm not here yet so that's another thing I'll need to wait to learn. Until then, I'm just going to smile at all the *preggo* women out there, who were once like I was.....waddling around with absolutely no clue as to what is about to happen to their life.
That's my rant for the week, I think.
I can't even remember which company this commercial is for... but it's about motherhood. And it shows a family and their children in several different scenes, babies, etc. Who ever wrote that commercial... obviously doesn't have kids. While I was watching it, I couldn't help but wonder... Is this what people think it is like to be a mother? A warm fuzzy feeling all the time? Granted... If I were pregnant, I'm sure that commercial would have me crying my eyes out. But it seems like people base too much happiness on parenthood and family when really it's more stress than it is warm and fuzzy or even happy. No wonder people are popping out babies at all various ages and stages of life. I will admit, it is a beautiful thing---- Kids are great. But they're not " fun runs in the park" and "fun on the beach" twenty four hours a day like people make them out to be. In fact, they can be dirty down right screaming monsters from some unknown underworld. In fact, I think that most of the time their halo, while visible to outsiders is actually held up by horns that are only visible to parents. I'm not saying children are evil... not one bit! I'm saying they can be. And commercials like these only seem to show people the great parts of being a parent.
I do love my kids, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade them in for the world but the subject of parenting has a lot of misconceptions in press. No one wants to show the true nature of children. I've been watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 a lot lately and they should show clips of that on all channels because that is the true parenting aspect right there. They've gotten over trying to be the perfect parents for the realization that it's impossible. Not because they have 8 kids, but because it really is impossible. Do you honestly think you could smile at your child while they take pancake syrup and massage into their clean head of hair, tell you "Leave me alone," or "you don't tell me?" What about when they have a melt down because you were wondering what they were doing and didn't realize that the look on your face of "what the..." could scare them so badly. Or how about when you're out shopping and every two steps you take you have to stop to pick up a sippy cup? And those are just normal things. What about when the children are sick? Even commercials for over-the-counter children's medication made parenthood seem like a cake walk. Where is the media/commercials, etc that show the world that raising children is something that is hard to do? Not just running around outside all happy and smiles? I was having a conversation about this with some people I know who do have children. Most people-- mainly women said that the media gave them a big misconception on what is was like to be a mother.
I always wondered why people smiled at me when I was pregnant. Most of them probably had children. Most of them probably knew what was going to happen to me... And most of them probably knew that I had no idea what I was getting myself into. My first little girl was eye-opening. No warmth or fuzziness in acid reflux I can tell you that. My second little girl, what can I say about that? Turned the world upside down. I don't regret my children, I just wish I still saw through rose-colored glasses like I see other people doing, BC (before children). I'm not materialistic but I like my things in tact, however, kids will eventually reach these things or figure out how to get them... which is another thing to get used to; nothing is yours anymore. Not even your food. When we go out to eat or even eat here at home, I have two children, who at food time cease to be children. Instead they are scavengers, sharks on a feeding frenzy. Even if they're eating the same thing, apparently if it's on my plate it must taste much better!
So now whenever I see a pregnant woman, like the ones that smiled at me... I smile at them. 9 months isn't even a fraction of a lifetime, but what comes after it never goes away. And finally, I am in the know about the big secret of "parenting." And it's definitely not what is portrayed on TV or in commercials. I guess everyone finds out eventually, especially when the child becomes a toddler...... I imagine it does get better as the children grow older. It has to. I read other blogs of people with older kids but I'm not here yet so that's another thing I'll need to wait to learn. Until then, I'm just going to smile at all the *preggo* women out there, who were once like I was.....waddling around with absolutely no clue as to what is about to happen to their life.
That's my rant for the week, I think.
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