Bug will officially be 5 tomorrow--- Wordless Wednesday

Watch her grow!

Post about my little buggie!

In 20 days,  Bug will be 5 years old! She's just such a little lady.  She's like an elephant-- she never forgets! She's very active, but also very happy and healthy. What else could a parent possibly ask for in their daughter. I am a little behind on her shots but hopefully when I get some time off, I can go ahead and get those done because this little girl is so ready for kindergarten. 

I've said it on here many times that one of the best decisions I have ever made was putting her in preschool. It's so worth the money. Even though she goes 3 hours a day, 4 days a week I think it's definitely made a big difference. When I drop her off at preschool, she wants to go into her classroom by herself. She knows where to hang her coat, and her Cinderella lunch box. They also have an attendance board which is basically a Velcro board that has their name and picture on a lamenated car. The board has two parts, one for home, and one for school. When she gets there, she puts her car at school and moves along to the work that is left for her to do on table.  

The Cinderella lunch box is significant for her.  Cinderella is her favorite princess. In fact, it is also the theme she picked for her birthday this year. When we were at the Disney store sometime last year, I told them they could pick something out that's $5.  The lunchboxes actually were $5 (been teaching her about money) and the matching back packs that have a strap to attach the lunch box on there, were $10. Bug doesn't know it yet, but I went back all those months ago and bought the last Cinderella back pack they had for her. I have also purchased a number of books, and activities to fill the back pack so it can be used as a gift bag, as well as a gift for her birthday.  Between Farmer's market trips, fruit picking, a family vacation  and these activity books, she'll stay busy over the summer while waiting for kindergarten to start.

To keep on going with the Cinderella theme and to keep up the tradition of no longer having birthday parties at the house, I hired out a Pottery Studio for 2 hours. The party, due to some other things going on in life has to be on her birthday which is a Thursday night,  and has to be from 6-8pm so at least most of the family members if not all of them can make it. I spoke to the owner for such a long time! She is so nice. They actually close at 7pm, but she told me I could still have the place until 8pm! And to boot, she won't charge me more than the $35 that I already paid to book the place. Of course, the pottery is a separate charge, so I told her I wanted to pay for each kid to do 1 piece of pottery. They have Crowns! They can be turned into a magnet or a picture frame. They also have plates that can be decorated with hand prints and anything else the children want to paint on there. Everything they have there is safe for dishwasher, microwave and eating.  Best of all, the paint is nontoxic, and nonstaining! The other places I called didn't even have that option.  I am actually excited for her.  She's never had to her party anywhere other than our house before.  And it's just a steal for $35 + the cost of pottery. All I have to go there pick out the pottery piece and get the invites, deposit is already done! It even includes a special tile or plate gift for the birthday girl. Here is the website:

Pottery Place Studios

It was one of those places that I have been looking at for a while but hadn't thought to call. Before the party, she'll have friend who is a boy, Jujubee, Lyssabug, her Ant LA,  and Tetta over  all day so we'll all take the birthday girl to dinner before the night of pottery painting, games, fun and cake! Usually, I have to put so much thought into their parties and trying to make them special and fun at my house that I end up spending a lot more than having it hired out.  I think she'll feel just like Cinderella going to the Ball, since her Prince Charming.... or, well, friend who is a boy will be with her all day as well as her cousins and other family to share her day... Her ACTUAL birth date.

Her birth was such a happy time for me..... but also a tragic time since a few short days afterward, I lost my father. So, some years, this time gives me a heavy heart, but lately, I have been able to cherish the fact that I was given a beautiful daughter to look after. You always always hear when one  door closes,  somewhere a window is opened.  I have finally been able to look at it that way. She's my window. And I know my dad would be so proud of her even though he never got to meet her.  And hopefully so proud of me since both her and I have survived 5 years! ;)

5 year pictures/photo collage to come soon of my lovely bug.... as soon as my neighbor and I find some time to get together for those and Easter pics!

Insomnia

So I got home at 2am this morning. I felt compelled to really help my last customer so I got out of there late. Anyway, I feel like ranting again about my dysfunctional life. I should be sleeping. My kids will be up at at 'em by 7:30am at the latest. So, yeah, I should be asleep. Especially since they have preschool, then after I pick them up I have my appointment with a specialist since I don't have a stomach bug. Stomach bugs don't like for almost a month. That's how long I have been dealing with stomach-bug-like symptoms. Great, isn't it?

So anyway, my rant is about....nothing really. Guess I could just talk about my new job. I don't have anything to go on and on about for once. I did get a sales bonus. It is an awesome bonus that will be 40% taxed. I am anxious to see what my Feb. bonus will be like, if there is one. I got 2 of three bonuses, and was about 1% away from that third bonus. But I am thankful for what I got. I am really lucky. I talk to a lot of people during the day at work and you'd be surprised how many people have been laid off or are unemployed. I got two healthy girls. Hopefully tomorrow I will find out what's going on. My diabetes blood work came back perfect. My kidneys will be stressed for a while but there isn't much I can do about that. My girls are happy, healthy and enjoying the new childcare situation with one of my "best good friends." Which I am glad. They love her and her children. It was really the perfect situation for us and she is also one of the Americans that currently does not have a job. So it gives me a chance to help her out as much as she is helping me.  Thank goodness for family friends. 

Me and my best good friend are taking cake decorating classes together. Which is good. Bug will be 5 in less than 50 days!! She's excited and talks about her birthday often. I am almost tempted to tell her if she keeps talking about it, it'll disappear. She's on the fence about what kind of party she wants. She keeps changing it. Varying from Hannah Montana to Batman and Spiderman. Thank goodness she's only mentioned those once last month. She also mention Ariel, but little does she know--- it's Cinderella. She picked a few months ago, so that's what it's going to be.  I already have all of the stuff. She did this with her birthday party last year. I don't like fickleness. At all.  She will learn. She WILL learn.

Ok, I think I should be done. I could probably write forever, but I am not.  I am going to force myself to go to sleep. :)

Kids imaginations!

Having two girls has been an experience. Bug is going to kindergarten in August and registration is March 1st. She's doing great with her writing, reading and phonics. But like her mom.... her imagination is out there. I came home from work early doubled over in pain. I slept for hours. Finally I couldn't sleep anymore. Bug told me when I woke up today that she wants to live in Paris, with her sister, her little brother, her grandma, and her two dogs. Paris! How does she know that Paris even exsists? I'm sure I'll figure it out. Probably some VHS tape we have that she watches. She doesn't even have a little brother.

I may be on my regular schedule at work sooner than planned. I've been doing well enough that I may be one of the people they kick out of training early. That's fine with me. Except that I will miss my mom. But she wants to get back to her regular life. Which means me and the girls get more time together. I bought blank story books, I've been thinking that maybe me and bug will sit down and try to create a story together. We could rough draft on construction paper, and then try to find interesting ways to illustrate it in the book. It could be a new bed time story for her. Maybe it'll be set in Paris, with her grandma, her two dogs, her sister and her little "brother!" You never know what she'll come up with next!

Book Reviews!

Good news! We were worried about what to do with the bugs. I needed childcare for about an hour a day, four days a week. I didn't want to put the bugs with someone they didn't know. But I also didn't want to put them with a daycare service and we can't put them with family do to jobs and what not. I really like my job. I'm doing well there and didn't want this to get in the way but I don't have to worry anymore. We now have awesome arrangements. Ones that both my husband and I are extremely happy with as it doesn't alter the girls lives, they will throughly enjoy where they'll be and it will bring the "normal" back to our lives that has temporarily been placed on hold while I complete training for this job. My only dilemma is whether or not I will put the Bee in a fulltime preschool and go back to school during the day while I continue to work nights since I am required to work nights for my first year at least. I did find one and I know she wants to go to school so we'll see. I think we may have to keep her in the Church preschool for at least one more year to get her prepared.

Next month I am also starting cake decorating classes with a really good friend of mine. I am so excited for that. I did miss a course though so I don't know what to expect. She already took that course, but we're doing it to spend time and have fun together. We both do our childrens, husbands and friends birthday cakes so it will be fun! But onto the point of my blogging--- Book Reviews!!! I just finished two books....


So, I received two books for Christmas. Redmosqui was determined to make me read books that are not one in a set. Just individual books.

The first one I read was The Magicians, by Lev Grossman. This book by the very last page left me speechless. His writing was beautiful. The words melted into scenes in my imagination. I was quickly swept worlds away. The details were so perfect. I was able to picture each character through the detail, all the way down to facial expressions. I can't even explain how well written it was enough so that anyone can comprehend it without reading it themselves. However, when I did finally read the last page, I was left wanting. Wanting a different ending. Wanting more details. Were more details needed? Absolutely not, but I didn't have questions.

The store follows Quentin Coldwater, a teenager about to enter into adulthood. His one downfall is that he's always looking for perfection, something better than what he has. So even when he has something really amazing, he things it's mundane, ordinary and just not worth it. It's probably how you would THINK Harry Potter should have ended. He does end up getting his initial wish to attend a school for magic. He gets wrapped up in the usual things boys get wrapped up in throughout the book--- girls, money, drinking, drugs and of course sex. But nothing ever seems to be enough for him. Even when all the things he ever dreamed about were staring him in the face. The book ends on that same note as well. Nothing, even after losing everything. I won't get into how... that's giving away the book but I will say that if you read this book you will realize that no matter how unhappy you are, no matter what situation you're in--- you're the one who decides if good things happen or if bad things happy. And you decide if you can be happy with hand you've dealt yourself.


The second book, Peter and Max, Fables A Novel by Bill Willingham essentially tells the story of Peter Piper, why he picked a pickled pepper....and his Brother Max. If I say anymore it may give away the story so I'll just talk about the way it was written. I'm very detail oriented especially when reading. So I when reading I need to know and understand everything. The book was written in third person point-of-view, shifting between the passed and the present. Even with the shift, it wasn't hard to undestand what was going on the story. Even though the story revolves around Peter Piper, there are visits from varions other "Fables," Little Bo Peep (and the true story of how she lost her sheep), Beauty and the Beast, Snow White (who has actually been divorsed a couple of times) and various others. It is an adult book, if you have young readers definitely wait until they are at least 16. But it is actually worth the read. Even though it isn't a series book.

I didn't want to spoil the books for anyone who wants to read them. I have been making a little bit of time for myself after work to deditcate to reading. Especially after reading the Magicians, I've learned that life is just that... life. You can spend your time hating it, or you can spend your time loving it. (That's how profound a lesson that book can teach you.) You could also probably spend it doing a little bit of both, but why bother? Love it and don't take things at face value so much because there is more than meets the eye--- always

Wordless Wednesday

A lot was going on around Bugs birthday. Especailly with the loss of our camera. I never posted her birthday party pictures because we had to wait to get them from the people who took pictures. So, we finally have them, and I'll post a few. Again, don't laugh at my cake! I'm not a great cake decorator.

I'm back!!

I guess it helps to have a laptop upstairs. So when I'm policing the halls during naptime to make sure Little Bug doesn't do something she shouldn't do before she takes a nap... like go wake up Littlest Bug while she's napping.... I can get on here a blog again.


Things have been busy, I'm still on the same schedule. Wake up with both girls at 7, take care of them until about 4:30, then head to work from 5pm until usually about 11pm, or whenever I'm done after that point. That's just Monday-Friday. Saturday is my only day off. Then Sunday, I have a 10 hour work day. It's hard but the money is good. I miss the kids a lot. They can be so cute in the evening when their bucket of energy has dwindled down. When I put Bee to bed on Saturdays, she didn't want to let me go. For some stupid reason, I decided to give her a pillow about a week or so ago. Now, she doesn't care if I put her to bed or not. She's in love with having a pillow. She finally started walking in March. Bug turned 3 on April 8th. Seriously, where does the time go? In 2010.... two years from now, Lanie will be in Kindergarten. That's going to be one hard day for me. Daddy D might have to take off work to help me leave her there.


Lately I've been struggling to find a balance. A balance between taking care of my self (the basics-- diet, exercise, shower, etc), you know, the stuff that keeps up with your self-esteem, and taking care of the kids and the house. How does anyone manage all that with 2 toddlers? There are all kinds of scenarios that I keep playing at in my head, but when I get home at or after midnight, then maybe get to sleep by 1am-2am, and up again at 7, I've already neglected one of my basic needs--- Sleep. I'm averaging 5 hours a night. Daddy D usually lets me sleep in on the weekend, but this weekend that didn't happen and it's Monday, and I'm really feeling the energy decrease. There's got to be away to do this. Not a perfect way, I'm not saying that there is one because I have to factor in appointment, grocery shopping and other things on different days. But I'd like to be able to get a shower everyday. Which, if the kids don't get a nap... I don't get a shower. They are at the age when you just can't turn your back on them, even if they're in the room when you shower. Argh.... Need time management classes or something!

Here are pictures of my "handfulls" that were taken this year:





























They may look cute.... but it's all an act. ;o)

Has it really been so long?

I've been so busy lately that I haven't been able to hear myself think when I need to. Between a couple of emergency room trips, doctor visits, etc... all without insurance, I think I probably just couldn't even think about blogging. I had little snippets here and there on livejournal though. Wow... so aside from the Emergency Room trips... I'm doing well at work. I've gotten a couple of awards already. That's always a good thing. The kids are doing great... Bee will be one year old in less than a month. Hard to believe.. I thought I just had her!

I miss blogging a lot but I've found myself so tired that my eye has been twitching on and off for days. I need to just relax with a cold pack over my eye for a little while. So much has been on my mind. Especially.... probably due to the holidays, my dad. I came upon the realization that grieving doesn't actually "get better." You actually stop thinking about the fact that they aren't here after a certain period of time. But then there are times... and there always will be, where it still hits you like a ton of bricks because you haven't had in-depth thoughts for a while. Maybe this will be different... It's almost been 3 years. We'll see in 5 I guess. Right now.. that's where I stand with it. I guess.. See? I don't even know! Just thoughts. Random ravings of a really tired mother. When you're born, you cry while everyone is smiling at you... but it's turned around when you die. Life is just full of catch 22's. Only glitch is that... my kids didn't cry when they were born. The doctors had to tick them off for them to cry. So.. not sure how the applies to my kids. It is funny though.


See... ranting of a mad woman. That's what my blog title needs to be.

Anyway... kids, good. Me... good? Husband, good. Pictures with Santa... decent. I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season and avoiding the crowds and "Sicknesses" as much as possible.


HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Halloween Pictures!

Anyone know if I can share my livejournal posts on here so I don't have to double post sometimes?

Can life get anymore dysfunctional?

Ok, I'm back from the dead.... well, I'll get to that later!

Training is over, and I'm a fulltime working gal, and a fulltime mom. It's going to be hard. I got home at midnight last night. Since my health insurance hasn't kicked in, I had to a "procedure" for a cyst on my own. That took 2 hours. So I went to bed after 2am. I'm crazy, I know. 2 more months and I'll have insurance. I missed the girls the four weeks I was in training. I didn't realize that I hadn't made a post in so long. I updated my MySpace, I'll head to livejournal next. It's definitely been a while. I can't really tell you about my job yet. Well, I could. I have a lot to say but with any company, I'm not going to put it out there. It's just not right.

Bee:
Has four teeth, another is cutting now.
Crawling and standing
Eating "people" food
Says: Jena, Mama, Daddy, Lanie, No, Bye

Bug.. what can I say about her? If she'd ditch the tantrums (which we are working on), I would no longer consider her a toddler even at 2 years of age. I'd consider her a girl. She tells us what she wants and what she needs. And what she wants to do. The only obstacle to get through is helping her deal with us telling her no. That's it.

Both of them still haven't been sick yet... no colds, no ear infections. I did get Jena's ears pierced on Sunday. She didn't cry, and it looks so cute. I do miss a lot of my friends. We've been playing phone tag for the last 4-5 weeks.

How is everyone in the blog world doing? I have a lot to catch up on here too!

School is back...

I tell everyone that I own two beautiful daddies girls. But I'm feeling it now more than ever. Daddy D has been back to work for a week and 2 days, it's very apparent. If I take the girls somewhere, Little bug looks at the other men she sees and asks "Where's my daddy?" Littles bug simply dadadadadadada throughout wherever we happen to be.

Yesterday was particularly hard because my car had a problem. We thought it was the battery, but when I had it towed to the nearest place that sells batteries, we discovered that the battery wasn't the problem. Needless to say, riding with 2 children in a tow truck wasn't fun at all. But at least I know that my Little Bug will never be taken by a stranger easily! The ride was bumpy, and Littlest was amused and actually saying " ha ha ha" the whole way. Oh yeah.. back to the story. They put a new battery in, and the car still wouldn't start. That's when I realize, I'm stranded at a store. It was 12pm. I had no formula for Littlest Bug but I had baby food. So I bought Little Bug and Me some pizza. Fed Littlest Bug her baby food. And took them for a walk around Sam's club. She kept busy getting samples from the ladies who just kept pumping her full of food because she was "adorable." My poor Little Bug was so tired. I realize the Sam's carts (or buggies, whatever you call them) are made for two children to sit in the front so I put my purse on one end, and I let her lay down. She fell asleep, so both kids asleep, relief. Everyone was at work. Daddy D doesn't get off until 3:30. But my wonderful MIL got off at 3, she came and rescued us. We got home shortly before my hubby did. I'm so lucky I have great in-laws. I hear some stories about others and I thank my lucky stars for the ones I have.

Glad yesterday is over.... I'll feel better when I get my car back. I'll be $228 poorer but at least I'm not stranded at a store for hours with 1 kid saying "where's my daddy," and the other "dadaddada" the whole time.

Rest In Peace Dad

He's been gone two years today and I still think about him as much, if not more, as I did when he was alive. I miss him so much, and wish that I knew him better and that we could have done more. Most of my memories are from before I was a teenager, before he got really bad.

Thank you to those who sponsored me in the MS Walk. It's a great cause, if a handful of people don't have to go through what I went through.

Two years and two kids later...I remember that day so clearly. I was taking a lot of pictures of Bug. She was only 10 days old. I put her in a dress her Uncle T and Aunt S sent her, took pictures of her in our room. Then I put her in a sleeper and took pictures of her in her room. She fell asleep... and then the phone rang. I was informed by my niece's mother, that my dads heart stopped and that I should pack my things and head to Fayetteville (2hrs away). I called my husbands work, panicking... told him I was leaving. It was around 3 o'clock. He asked me to wait for him, that he'd get a substitute and come home. Not 30 minutes later I was told, "Don't rush home, he's already gone," by the same person. At first I thought it was a cruel joke, but by the time my husband made it through the door, I couldn't stop crying. I didn't get to say good bye. I didn't get to tell him I loved him. The last time I talked to him was when I told him I was heading to the hospital to have Lanie. He said "you'll do good, I love you." I love you too were my last words. But does "I love you, too" last ten days?

Pictures of Bug that I took that day, 10 days old:










Jena at 10 days old:


I love you, dad. And I miss you more than you ever would have thought.

Quick update...

April brings...

My MIL birthday today--- Happy Birthday to her!
Easter
Lanie's birthday on Easter
MS Walk.
My FIL's birthday.
My dad's death day
My SIL's birthday.
and possibly the birth of a Nephew.

So as you can see, I won't be able to blog much. Not only that, I'm going back to work in the next few days and Bee still isn't on a bottle yet. Bug's party is tomorrow b/c I didn't feel right having her birthday party on a Sunday and on Easter. Tonight my best friend is staying the night and another of my really good friends will be here. They're going to help me cut and prepare things for tomorrow.



My baby is turning 2.... I wish nothing but another year of good health. She hasn't had a single health problem since she was born. Maybe 1 cold, but it didn't even phase her. No ear infections. I hope for another year like that. It makes me sad that she's getting older but I suppose if it has to happen, and there's nothing I can do to stop it then I have no choice but to embrace it and give her a ton of hugs to make up for the times when she's older that she'll want nothing to do with her mom.
We bought her a lot of stuff for outside, I hope she'll find more to do out there now since she would choose to live her life out there. It's the end of the world when we bring her in....

::sigh:: Watch her grow...

birth:



one year:




Two years:




















Happy birthday sweetheart!

What a week! Being a mother involves a lot of gross things.

Bee's one month appointment was on the 5th. They gave me an Rx of Zantac for her, told me to thicken her breastmilk with rice cereal and if that doesn't work, use the Zantac. Great. At the mercy of the pump again! On top of that, the pharmacy flavored it with mint, I didn't ask for that. And they gave us a useless dropper. Thank goodness we have one. It's been a week now, and the combination of the bottle and the Zantac have worked. I still breastfeed her at night, she only gets up twice at the most. If I breastfeed her during the day, I pump the milk out first. I hate to take away something that gives her so much comfort. And since it takes time to make milk, a little spit up in between isn't going to kill me. It's better than being soaked in it like I was before.

Tuesday was a week to the day that I noticed Bug had blood in her stool. So I called to ask what it could be and they said "bring her in." I hate that. I just had a question! But I took her in and they wanted a sample. The doctor explained to me what to do. I got the sample late Wednesday and took it to the lab yesterday. Apparently, it wasn't the right way to do it even though I did it as it was explained to me. Now I have to do it again. Oh so much fun.

Wednesday, the husband had a root canal. It was fun getting the kids ready all early in the morning [note the sarcasm] to get to Salibury.... a 20mile drive and sit in a very very small endontist office full of people with a car seat, diaper bag, toys, and 2 kids. Yeah! But his root canal went well and he wasn't in too much pain when we left. After getting all three fed and down for a nap, I had a doctors appointment. It didn't go well, I ended up getting sent to the lab for further testing for something else that I'll have forever, and have to take medication for until I die. That's always fun! It makes me want to throw a party! We had spaghetti that night and I completely forgot that Bee and tomato sauce don't mix. So she was gassy and spitting up all night. I've got to remember not to eat pizza and other stuff with tomato sauce. Tomatoes themselves don't seem to bother her.

Thursday night was the best sleep night this week. So I'm a little more rested but I think I need to sleep for 3 days straight! On top of it all, taking the girls to the doctor landed me with a sore throat and a fever. Add to that... Jon's got it! But the girls don't at least.

Thank you, Meredyth!

Last night was rough. The littlest bug had problems sleeping. She's got acid reflux and all she wanted was to be attached to me all night. She was inconsolable unless she was on me. It was rough, I think my breasts are going to fall off. But as she's here, attached to me... one of my best friends sent me an email:


"This is just too good not to pass on to all. Something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time the rewards listed this way. The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:

* $8,896.66 a year,* $741.38 a month, or* $171.08 a week* That's a mere $24.24 a day!* Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice is not to have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite.

What do you get for your $160,140?
* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!* Glimpses of God every day.* Giggles under the covers every night.* More love than your heart can hold.* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.* A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:
* finger-paint,* carve pumpkins,* play hide-and-seek,* catch lightning bugs, and* never stop believing in Santa Claus. You have an excuse to:* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,* watch Saturday morning cartoons,* go to Disney movies, and* wish on stars.* You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,* taking the training wheels off a bike,* removing a splinter,* filling a wading pool,* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the:
* first step,* first word,* first bra,* first date, and* first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God.
You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal!!!!!!!"





Sometimes I have to be reminded that a few sleepless nights filled with crying are farless memorable than what's to come. And in the whole month that Bee's been here, we may have had 6 or 7 rough nights. It's definitely worth the trade off of all of the above.



Happy birthday to me. I'm 25, feeling more like 35 right now. My husband got me a double stroller, and took me out to dinner. I was pathetic, I tried to get an alcoholic beverage.. a bay breeze and I couldn't drink it. I sipped it for the entire dinner. Then at the end of the dinner, I was maybe a quarter of the way through it when my husband took it and drank the rest of the 12oz's in 1 shot. I guess I've been a mother way too long. Everyone else gave me a check or cash. I got myself (with some money I was sent) a couple of things from Bath and Body works. They didn't have their signature scent, Sun-ripened Raspberries, which was what I wanted (go figure), but I found a new one that I love and is now my favorite. I also got a $12 lip tint for $3. They only had 1 left of the color I wanted but I'm in love with it and don't think I'll ever find that color again. I've been looking for a color like that for years. I was thinking that now that I have a double stroller, maybe I'll finally finish the trip to the mall that I started last week. Not likely now since I went to Kohls yesterday to get stuff to do the girls bathroom. Which means, I don't have money anymore. I had some when I went to the mall the first time, but it's all gone and then some!

Here is what their bathroom collection will look like:

They have this in their tub too...

We're planning on painting the bathroom a light green. It currently off white and has dark cabinets with a dark blue, burgundy, gold, and dark green bath collection. Here's hoping a lighter collection makes it happy, fun and less claustrophobic.

Bee is one month old today!


She can roll over
She's holding her head up really well
She wakes up only 1 time at night for 30 minutes
She was completely breastfed until last night
--- we had a few failed attempts at formula but I got her a new bottle and with some coaxing she finally took it.

I don't know why we gave her formula... I have a ton of breastmilk in the freezer. I guess it was quicker for my husband than thawing a bag. Bug was breast and formula fed at the same time. I think she's better off for it. She's had a small minor little cold and she's almost 2. No ear infections...not a single sickness. So we'll go the same route with Bee.


Speaking of Bug, her sister seems to be the apple of her eye. She thinks and talks about her constantly. It's cute, it's an unexpected surprise. I love it, she's already a little mommy! She's taken her big sister roll very well, she gives lots of kisses, hugs and even holds her so nicely. At one point, she did try to breastfeed her but not since I explained that only "mommy" can do that. Since then, she brings her dolls over to me and wants me to breastfeed them as well. It's interesting, but sweet nonetheless.

It's funny, I can't seem to sleep tonight. Both kids go down at 8, so Jena has been sleeping since 8pm, it's almost 1am and she's still sleeping. I remember feeling this way when Lanie started sleeping all night. It's pretty lonely when you're used to getting up. Maybe I'll be able to stop my brain from running laps around an imaginary track so I can fall asleep. I'll be 25 on Monday, and all I can think about is that this is the second time that I won't be having a conversation with my dad on my birthday. This is the second time that I can't show him my new baby. So lately I've been finding my thoughts with him....

Exhausted! It's hard to spend time with both Bug and Bee since Bee obviously doesn't do anything that Bug does. It's been a little frustrating. Bee is content to sleep all day and all night as long as she's with me at night. It's time to break her of this. And the more time I spend away from Bug, the more I realize that she's a hyper active child. By time I clean up one area she's demolished, she's already torn up at least 2 other areas. Not only that, her path of destruction also leads to many falls, bumps on the head and other places. She could seriously get hurt. We need to channel her energy somewhere. This tells me it's time to find her some kind of "class" to be in. Somewhere she can play with other children.

There is a soft play area in the mall, but my problem is that I don't have a double stroller and I can't possibly deal with Bug while Bee is in the stroller.My aunt gave us a twin stroller. My husband suggested I just use that for outings. I had my doubts because I obviously don't have twins but I found the guts to do it anyway and it was a disaster....
First off, Bee doesn't like her car seat. So, I got her in the car seat, we got to the mall, I had to get her out again to get her in the stupid stroller--- scream fest 1. THEN she's just way to small for it so buckling her was well... wasn't doing ANY good. Then I got Bug in which wasn't a problem except that she felt she needed to take Bee's blanket off her, and her shoes--- scream fest 2. Then we get into the mall and Bee couldn't fall back asleep and wanted to nurse-- scream fest 3. We went up the stroller/wheelchair ramp and she slid back--- scream fest 4. (I went down backwards for fear she might slide out b/c she's so small) Then, she just was plain upset and still wanted to nurse--- thats right, 5..... *could it get any worse? Yes, it can!*

So I finally pick her up and we're walking through the mall with me holding a screaming child and pushing a twin stroller. We get to the soft play area then I needed to put Bee down and get Bug out. Yup.. 6. This is all going on in a matter of a few stores. It took 40 minutes to get from my car to the soft play area b/c of all the screaming. THEN Bug decides she'd like to run off while I'm picking Bee up. So I have to take off after her. Now of course the other option is to just let Bug walk right? Bug darted down 3 stores and the walk from those 3 stores to the soft play area was 15 minutes. I don't want to know how long it would take to get from the parking spot to the mall.(Might as well go home after you get to the door!) Add another 5 b/c I gave her a time out in the mall for running away and not listening. We get there... the play area was horrible. It's tiny and filled with children. It really should only fit 5 to 6 kids.. and there were 11 then throw in the parents?! Crowded. Needless to say, Bug was still crying on and off. So, yeah.. out goes my boob (covered by a blanket). I nurse her. Bug isn't even playing.. she was being shy. I gave her until I was done nursing then I tried to make her play, but she wasn't having it. So, repeat all of the above for the way back to the car.

The moral of the story is:

1. Wean your kid so they'll take a bottle and it'd be easier to feed in public.

2. GET A DOUBLE STROLLER, otherwise, you're going to feel resentment for the person who told you, "take it off your registry. you don't need one."

Ok, so I've jumped back into the blogging community. Probably sparingly for a little while longer as I have yet to introduce this section to many people yet. A lot is going on between now and May. I have a lot to get done and a lot of places to go. Life with two girls is easier than I thought it would be [so far]. Bug absolutely loves her little sister. So much that the first thing she asks in the morning is "Where's Bee?" It's adorable. She runs to her every time she cries and tries to help and comfort her. It's sweet. I know at some point, she'll get jealous but Bee is almost a month old and I'm grateful that there is no jealousy yet.

Here's a picture of family life thus far:













Right now it's hard to not have to go to work. I find myself being a little more relaxed this time around and have even been able to let Daddy D take over so I can take a nap. That was something I couldn't do the first time around. There are different aspects of "new mom guilt" in play this time. It still involves my first daughter. I worry that I don't spend enough time with her. I worry that maybe I'm too tired which results in over discipline. (I really hope that's not the case all the time even though I know I've done it a few times.) We'll see how things turn out. It's still too early. I'm thankful that we're all heathly. That Bug is thrilled with being a big sister. And that I'm not pregnant anymore!